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Stories from The Belly of the Beast XV1
So Seedless Grapes Scribe Don1 receives an invite via FB mobile messenger to a product launch at a Soho atelier dealing in bespoke clothing. Being nearby with time to kill before an appointment D1 decides to swing by.
Upon entering D1 is immediately greeted by a bevy of Pretty Young Things offering warm greetings and cool liquor. After a quick scan of the product line D1 is approached by a particularly Personable Pretty Young Thing (PPYT) who points out a shrouded machine ensconced in back of the tiny store.
PPYT: She purrs...."Would you like to try our Full Body Scan machine Don?"
D1: What's that?
PPYT: It will take all your body measurements in 20 seconds and produce a full body 3D image of you. It's fun.
D1: Hmmm. I thought I was in a store... not a hospital.
PPYT: LOL. You are in a store. Once we have your measurements you will never have to be measured again...unless you get fat or something.
D1: (Peers suspiciously at the machine) "It looks like the Orgasma-tron from that Woody Allen movie. Will you be in there with me to share the experience?
PPYT: LOL. You're funny. Sorry I won't be in there
D1: Ok. Will it show my jewels then you and your friends can tweet the images on the internet? My mom would have a coronary you know.
PPYT: LOL...wooiiiee. No it just shows your outline. Plus we would never do that to you. But you do have to remove everything except your boxers (she smiles beguilingly)
D1: Ok let's give it a whirl.
D1: (steps inside the chamber & performs the prerequisites) I'm ready. Zap me. If anyting appen mi dun ave mi pikney dem areddy
Flashing lights and multiple hi def cameras go off in rapid succession. A sultry female voice urges D1 to stay calm and still. After 20 seconds The Voice thanks me and announces the end.
PPYT: Don, I'm sorry but we have to do it again
D1: What! Is it a Black thing??
PPYT: LOL..No Don. Maybe you moved too much
D1: Mi tink is one Babylon plot fi get mi. Yuh know sitten...juss tell di Boss seh mi withdraw all dem ting mi write bout Babylon pon di net. Ah likkle joke mi did ah mek. Mi haffi get rid ah dat blasted FB app.
PPYT: Just hold still. We'll get you this time
D1: That's exactly what I'm afraid of
Woooooiiieee
So Seedless Grapes Scribe Don1 receives an invite via FB mobile messenger to a product launch at a Soho atelier dealing in bespoke clothing. Being nearby with time to kill before an appointment D1 decides to swing by.
Upon entering D1 is immediately greeted by a bevy of Pretty Young Things offering warm greetings and cool liquor. After a quick scan of the product line D1 is approached by a particularly Personable Pretty Young Thing (PPYT) who points out a shrouded machine ensconced in back of the tiny store.
PPYT: She purrs...."Would you like to try our Full Body Scan machine Don?"
D1: What's that?
PPYT: It will take all your body measurements in 20 seconds and produce a full body 3D image of you. It's fun.
D1: Hmmm. I thought I was in a store... not a hospital.
PPYT: LOL. You are in a store. Once we have your measurements you will never have to be measured again...unless you get fat or something.
D1: (Peers suspiciously at the machine) "It looks like the Orgasma-tron from that Woody Allen movie. Will you be in there with me to share the experience?
PPYT: LOL. You're funny. Sorry I won't be in there
D1: Ok. Will it show my jewels then you and your friends can tweet the images on the internet? My mom would have a coronary you know.
PPYT: LOL...wooiiiee. No it just shows your outline. Plus we would never do that to you. But you do have to remove everything except your boxers (she smiles beguilingly)
D1: Ok let's give it a whirl.
D1: (steps inside the chamber & performs the prerequisites) I'm ready. Zap me. If anyting appen mi dun ave mi pikney dem areddy
Flashing lights and multiple hi def cameras go off in rapid succession. A sultry female voice urges D1 to stay calm and still. After 20 seconds The Voice thanks me and announces the end.
PPYT: Don, I'm sorry but we have to do it again
D1: What! Is it a Black thing??
PPYT: LOL..No Don. Maybe you moved too much
D1: Mi tink is one Babylon plot fi get mi. Yuh know sitten...juss tell di Boss seh mi withdraw all dem ting mi write bout Babylon pon di net. Ah likkle joke mi did ah mek. Mi haffi get rid ah dat blasted FB app.
PPYT: Just hold still. We'll get you this time
D1: That's exactly what I'm afraid of
Woooooiiieee
