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  • From a Trini friend... there is no

    Jamaican Corporation... Anyone care to add?
    The email was titled:

    World Economics...explained with 2 cows.

    SOCIALISM

    You have 2 cows.

    You give one to your neighbour.



    COMMUNISM

    You have 2 cows

    The State takes both and gives you some milk.



    FASCISM

    You have 2 cows.

    The State takes both and sells you some milk.



    BUREAUCRATISM

    You have 2 cows.

    The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.



    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

    You have two cows.

    You sell one and buy a bull..

    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

    You sell them and retire on the income.



    VENTURE CAPITALISM

    You have two cows.

    You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

    The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

    The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.



    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows.

    You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

    Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.



    A FRENCH and Trinidad CORPORATION

    You have two cows.

    You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.



    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.

    You decide to have lunch.



    A SWISS CORPORATION

    You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.

    You charge the owners for storing them.



    A CHINESE CORPORATION

    You have two cows.

    You have 300 people milking them.

    You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.

    You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.



    AN INDIAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows.

    You worship them.



    A BRITISH CORPORATION

    You have two cows.

    Both are mad.



    AN IRAQI CORPORATION

    Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

    You tell them that you have none.

    Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.

    You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.



    AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows.

    Business seems pretty good.

    You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.



    A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

    You have two cows.

    The one on the left looks very attractive..



    A GREEK CORPORATION

    You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.

    You eat both of them.

    The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.

    The IMF loans you two cows.

    You eat both of them.

    The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.

    You are out getting a haircut.
    Peter R


  • #2
    Jamaican Corporation

    You have a Jamaica Cement Company that’s been operating at a loss for many years. In despair you sell majority ownership to Trinidadian interests.

    Lo and behold, within twelve months of the Trinis acquiring it, the long beleaguered cement company starts making a profit!

    Welcome to capitalism, Jamdown style.

    Comment


    • #3
      JAMAICAN CORPORATION

      You have two cows.
      You import feed.
      You import medicines.
      You import equipment.
      You import tractor.
      You import truck.
      You hire foreign Consultant.
      You import BMW/Benz or Prado.
      You import milk.
      You import beef.
      You import leather.
      You import butter.
      You import cheese.
      Sell ALL you import.
      You still have two cows.
      Take a vacation.

      Comment


      • #4
        Funny.

        Jamaican

        You have two cows and they disappear overnight
        police catch the suspect but can't name them. LOL
        • Don't let negative things break you, instead let it be your strength, your reason for growth. Life is for living and I won't spend my life feeling cheated and downtrodden.

        Comment


        • #5
          Jamaican dont come fi count cow
          We come fi drink milk!

          Comment


          • #6
            Well what really happened in Jamaica?
            The farmers will tell you they had to throw away milk because we import milk powder(which cause more to manufacture) and even beef,that they blame on capitalism.
            The prevailing deception continues despite....

            Comment


            • #7
              Nice one!

              See mine:

              Mine goes like this. You have two cows.
              In 9 months tell people you have 10. (you only have 4)
              In another year and a quarter tell people you have 40 ( you only have 8)
              In another year and a quarter tell people you have 160...(you only have 16)
              Start sell shares in cows... tell people you managing the stock and will pay a dividend from the profits...
              Some people get profits from the 16 cows...
              In another year and a quarter tell people you have 640 cows (you only have 32)
              Sell more shares... u get very rich...
              In a next year tell people you have 2,560 cows (you only have 64)
              Sell even more shares...
              A handful of people wonder how you breeding so many cows... most people call you a genius for being able to do what even expert farmers couldn't do.
              After five plus years the Ministry of Agriculture wants to check your herd...
              You put them off, with a "Cock and BULL" story (LOL)..
              They insist!
              Yu move to a neighbouring island...
              The authorities find your 64 cows; seize them..
              Them arrest you... a few people get back some money...
              Everybody else suck salt!
              Oh, the 64 cows die from malnourishment...
              Peter R

              Comment


              • #8
                BTW artificial insemination got the herd going
                Peter R

                Comment


                • #9
                  s/b cost.
                  It has to REALLY be so for me to hold it true.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Was about to ask you about that??? BTW mi no tell yu fi stap drink dat cheap rum??? Woooeeeiiii...that is the most complicated, convoluted,Peteresque story...

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Is that capitalism or bad economic polices. Any analyst would tell you that government can't give subsidy to imported stuff over locally produce stuff but. Who imported the mik power and who signed off for it to be imported?

                      Why not fire them?
                      • Don't let negative things break you, instead let it be your strength, your reason for growth. Life is for living and I won't spend my life feeling cheated and downtrodden.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Gentlemen, I did find this thread funny.
                        "Jamaica's future reflects its past, having attained only one per cent annual growth over 30 years whilst neighbours have grown at five per cent." (Article)

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Those are policies demanded by the beacon of Capitalism,Democracy,and Sovereignty and all those nice stuffs.
                          The very people you just do not oppose.
                          The same people that overthrows democratically elected governments to insert their puppet dictators....
                          It is continued when we rehash their meaningless mantras, we do so at our expense.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            "Those are policies demanded by the beacon of Capitalism,Democracy,and Sovereignty and all those nice stuffs."

                            This not capitalism and our leaders are the ones who make the decisions. There are rooms to demand or show alternative policies and if they are lazy to do so then they can't blame anyone.

                            We absolve our political leaders of responsiblitiy and place it on others. Why do we elect them?

                            I can bet the people who get these import license are most affiliates or sponsors of the political parties. Influencing the market in that way is not capitalism.
                            • Don't let negative things break you, instead let it be your strength, your reason for growth. Life is for living and I won't spend my life feeling cheated and downtrodden.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Capitalism at its best, opening the market is encouraged.
                              There is a disconnect when we are against Govt subsidizing imports to the detriment of local products but accept heavily subsidized imports that are designed to achieve the same effects.
                              What is even more mind boggling is our penchant to blame everyone but the truly blameworthy.

                              Comment

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