Tweet
Dear Santa,
How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the
reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I
would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for
Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.
Merry Christmas,
Timmy Jones
---------------------------------------------------
Dear Timmy,
Thank you for you letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and
thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried about all the time
you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to
get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you
something you can go outside and play with.
Merry Christmas,
Santa Claus
---------------------------------------------------
Mr. Claus,
Seeing that I have fulfilled the "naughty vs. nice" contract, set by you I might add,
I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I
have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season
into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight
coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?
Respectfully,
Tim Jones
---------------------------------------------------
Mr. Jones,
While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice"
criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in
no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue
legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my
attorney's have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister
Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in
open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only
improve your health, but also improve you social skills and potentially
help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King
fry bin most days.
Very Truly Yours,
S Claus
---------------------------------------------------
Now look here Fat Man,
I told you what I want
and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this
but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be
disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting
for your fat ass and be taking my game console, my game, my phone, and
whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!
T-Bone
---------------------------------------------------
Listen Pizza Face,
Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and
never gets caught sweats a skinny gang banger wannabe? "He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound familiar, Moron? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your sh it wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totino's pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in your as s and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Scumbag !
S Clizzy
---------------------------------------------------
Dear Santa,
Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.
Timmy
---------------------------------------------------
Timmy,
That's what I thought you little punk!
Santa
How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the
reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I
would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for
Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.
Merry Christmas,
Timmy Jones
---------------------------------------------------
Dear Timmy,
Thank you for you letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and
thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried about all the time
you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to
get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you
something you can go outside and play with.
Merry Christmas,
Santa Claus
---------------------------------------------------
Mr. Claus,
Seeing that I have fulfilled the "naughty vs. nice" contract, set by you I might add,
I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I
have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season
into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight
coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?
Respectfully,
Tim Jones
---------------------------------------------------
Mr. Jones,
While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice"
criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in
no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue
legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my
attorney's have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister
Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in
open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only
improve your health, but also improve you social skills and potentially
help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King
fry bin most days.
Very Truly Yours,
S Claus
---------------------------------------------------
Now look here Fat Man,
I told you what I want
and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this
but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be
disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting
for your fat ass and be taking my game console, my game, my phone, and
whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!
T-Bone
---------------------------------------------------
Listen Pizza Face,
Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and
never gets caught sweats a skinny gang banger wannabe? "He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound familiar, Moron? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your sh it wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totino's pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in your as s and then walk it dry. Chew on that, Scumbag !
S Clizzy
---------------------------------------------------
Dear Santa,
Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.
Timmy
---------------------------------------------------
Timmy,
That's what I thought you little punk!
Santa
Paul Marin -19 is one thing, 20 is a whole other matter. It gets even worse if they win the UCL. *groan*. 
05/18/2011.MU fans naah cough, but all a unuh a vomit?-Lazie 1/11/2015
Comment