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  • Whose monkey is this

    'IKEA Monkey was a very curious little monkey'



    By Jonathan Anker
    updated 12:35 PM EST, Mon December 10, 2012


    NEED TO KNOW
    • The story of a little monkey in a warm jacket at a big store
    • IKEA Monkey had never heard of Twitter before
    • He will soon have a new home and many new friends




    This is IKEA Monkey. He was a good little monkey, and always very curious.
    One day in Toronto, IKEA Monkey went to the store with his owners for some holiday shopping.
    They walked outside to the big blue-and-yellow building, but left IKEA Monkey locked in his crate inside the car.
    "I have this nice, warm jacket," he thought. "And a diaper."
    "So I can go outside and look around, too."
    And he did. IKEA Monkey was a very clever monkey (or "Apekatt" if he were named like an IKEA product) and escaped not only his crate, but his car as well.
    There were many people in the parking lot and they all stopped to stare at this curious monkey in the snug shearling jacket. And diaper.
    IKEA Monkey had never seen so many people. But none of them were his owners and he became frightened.
    A lady told a newspaper that "It was running between people. They were trying to call it towards them. It was really scared."
    The parking lot was not as exciting as IKEA Monkey had imagined. He wanted to go into the store, but had trouble asking for directions.
    "It was doing some monkey screaming, like jungle noises," the lady said.
    Soon, the nice people started to take pictures of IKEA Monkey to share with their friends. They had never heard of a monkey in a jacket and diaper outside a big store.
    And IKEA Monkey had never head of Twitter.
    Umm saw a monkey in the #ikea parking lot. twitter.com/broniewyn/stat…
    — Bronwyn Iler Page (@broniewyn) December 9, 2012
    Anyone lose their monkey at Ikea? instagr.am/p/TByJK-SsJt/
    — Lisa Lin (@dzd_lisa) December 9, 2012
    "No more monkeys jumping on the bed!" - panicked Ikea employee #ikeamonkey
    — anne t. donahue (@annetdonahue) December 9, 2012
    You know what tortures me? Before the Internet, so many things as amazing as the Ikea monkey probably happened, but we NEVER FOUND OUT.
    — Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) December 10, 2012
    So much attention! So many nice, new friends. But a parking lot was no place for a monkey! IKEA Monkey began to wonder where his owners were.
    But before he could find out, he was taken away by some people who worked at the big store. They looked after IKEA Monkey and made sure he was safe until the police arrived.
    "It was a tame monkey," said a friendly policeman. "Nobody got hurt. The monkey was a little scared, that’s all."
    At Toronto Animal Services, IKEA Monkey was warm now. And he was happy. And not scared.
    His owners were not happy. They broke the rules about owning a rhesus macaque and will have to pay $240 and will not get their monkey back.
    A woman told IKEA Monkey he will soon have a new home -- at an animal sanctuary!
    "That sounds like fun," IKEA Monkey thought. "I can live with other animals and won't have to wear people jackets."
    "Or diapers."
    The end.
    Life is a system of half-truths and lies, opportunistic, convenient evasion.”
    - Langston Hughes
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