levity

[Peter R]

CUSTODY BATTLE



A Rastaman and his Empress are in court getting a divorce.

The problem was, who should get custody of the child?

The Empress jumped up and said, "Your Honor. I brought the child into this world with great pain and labour; so it is only right that she should be in my custody".

The judge nods his head, reviews his notes, then turns to the dread and says, "What do you have to say in the matter?"

The Rastaman, whose name is Ralph, sat for a while in deep contemplation, then slowly rose and said, "Yow, your Honor, penetrate dis. If I and I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi come out; ah who fa Pepsi?" "I and I or de machine?"

It is said that before reserving judgement, the judge had some difficulty in restoring order in the court.

[Peter R]

More levity....

A preacher said, "anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over,

please come forward to the front by the altar."

Leroy got in line and when it was his turn, the Preacher asked,

"Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?"
Leroy replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing." The preacher put one finger of one hand in Leroy's ear, placed his other hand on top of Leroy's head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed for Leroy, and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.

After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked,

"Leroy, how is your hearing now?"

Leroy answered,

"I don't know. My hearing ain't 'til next week."

[Peter R]

Wisdom

Keep this in mind the next time you are about to repeat a rumour or spread gossip.

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied, "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."
'Triple filter?" asked the acquaintance.

"That's right," Socrates continued, "Before you talk to me about Diogenes let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "Actually I just heard about it."

"All right," said Socrates, "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "You want to tell me something about Diogenes that may be bad, even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, "You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "If what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even useful, why tell it to me or anyone at all?"

The man was bewildered and ashamed. This is an example of why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was shagging his wife.

[Muadib]

Very funny

However I suspect that info WOULD have been useful to Socrates so at least it never fail the last filter test.