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Help our abused sisters
Published: Monday | August 2, 2010 0 Comments and 0 Reactions
The Soloist, Contributor
Jamaican women are lucky. And I count myself very lucky to be a Jamaican woman with rights and enough self-confidence to know that I must never allow a man to abuse me more than once. But I am also lucky now to finally have a partner who respects me too much to lift a finger to hurt me. Truth be told, he knows for sure that I'd kill or maim him if he ever dared to hurt me. I am so against taking physical abuse from men, I even have a rule against so-called 'playful slaps' in the heat of passion!
I write this week against the background of the recent TIME magazine and Internet reports about what happened to 16-year-old Nazia at the hands of her 40-year-old husband in Qulat, Zabul Province in South Afghanistan. Her monster of a husband, out of stupidity, anger and jealousy of perceived adultery, beat his wife, cut off her ears and nose, shaved her head and has left her devastated. By he way, this prince of darkness also broke her teeth with a stone, and poured hot water on her feet.
Now, God knows, many Jamaican women are used to their abusive men. But the ear and nose job came one evening when this poor young girl was too sick to cook dinner (after a previous beating), and he became angry because he thought she was pretending. Nazia's story is just the latest in a litany of horror stories in which Afghanistan women are the victims.
What can we do? Why am I writing this? So that we can continue to open our eyes and ears and be our sisters' keepers. That's right, many women remain in abusive relationships out of fear of those monster men; fear of societal ridicule and fear of going back to a life of being responsible for themselves. Many abused women don't want o leave their comfort zones even when those ivory towers have razor walls. And who knows, perhaps there are some powerful women among us who have the clout to do something for our sisters in Afghanistan: like we did for our brothers and sisters in South Africa to help eliminate the tyranny of apartheid.
If you guessed by now that abusive men really get my blood boiling, you are right.
My experiences
In one relationship, a man boxed me for calling him a (&^%$#) liar, he got six stitches at hospital after I retaliated with my pair of scissors; I also ended that relationship immediately.
A few years later, I was in a situation overseas where I wanted to come home and the man did not want me to, so he locked me in a house in another country for almost a week. I began to break stuff and he gave me the beating of my life. Seeing my plight, I became thoughtful rather than retaliate and I found sleeping pills in his bathroom. I subsequently gave him just enough for an overdose, headed for the airport and called someone to go wake him, then caught the plane home. That too was history! (This sistren is serious, no jestering
- handle carefully)
Since then, I have related these incidents to all prospective suitors as a warning of what I am capable, if pushed. I also made sure not to enter into relationships with men who come from abusive homes. Nuff said. But not many women have the guts to fight back and many are not lucky to do it successfully.
If you are in an abusive relationship, email us at: lifestyle@gleanerjm.com and let's get rid of the violent bullies in our beds.
Published: Monday | August 2, 2010 0 Comments and 0 Reactions
The Soloist, Contributor
Jamaican women are lucky. And I count myself very lucky to be a Jamaican woman with rights and enough self-confidence to know that I must never allow a man to abuse me more than once. But I am also lucky now to finally have a partner who respects me too much to lift a finger to hurt me. Truth be told, he knows for sure that I'd kill or maim him if he ever dared to hurt me. I am so against taking physical abuse from men, I even have a rule against so-called 'playful slaps' in the heat of passion!
I write this week against the background of the recent TIME magazine and Internet reports about what happened to 16-year-old Nazia at the hands of her 40-year-old husband in Qulat, Zabul Province in South Afghanistan. Her monster of a husband, out of stupidity, anger and jealousy of perceived adultery, beat his wife, cut off her ears and nose, shaved her head and has left her devastated. By he way, this prince of darkness also broke her teeth with a stone, and poured hot water on her feet.
Now, God knows, many Jamaican women are used to their abusive men. But the ear and nose job came one evening when this poor young girl was too sick to cook dinner (after a previous beating), and he became angry because he thought she was pretending. Nazia's story is just the latest in a litany of horror stories in which Afghanistan women are the victims.
What can we do? Why am I writing this? So that we can continue to open our eyes and ears and be our sisters' keepers. That's right, many women remain in abusive relationships out of fear of those monster men; fear of societal ridicule and fear of going back to a life of being responsible for themselves. Many abused women don't want o leave their comfort zones even when those ivory towers have razor walls. And who knows, perhaps there are some powerful women among us who have the clout to do something for our sisters in Afghanistan: like we did for our brothers and sisters in South Africa to help eliminate the tyranny of apartheid.
If you guessed by now that abusive men really get my blood boiling, you are right.
My experiences
In one relationship, a man boxed me for calling him a (&^%$#) liar, he got six stitches at hospital after I retaliated with my pair of scissors; I also ended that relationship immediately.
A few years later, I was in a situation overseas where I wanted to come home and the man did not want me to, so he locked me in a house in another country for almost a week. I began to break stuff and he gave me the beating of my life. Seeing my plight, I became thoughtful rather than retaliate and I found sleeping pills in his bathroom. I subsequently gave him just enough for an overdose, headed for the airport and called someone to go wake him, then caught the plane home. That too was history! (This sistren is serious, no jestering
- handle carefully)Since then, I have related these incidents to all prospective suitors as a warning of what I am capable, if pushed. I also made sure not to enter into relationships with men who come from abusive homes. Nuff said. But not many women have the guts to fight back and many are not lucky to do it successfully.
If you are in an abusive relationship, email us at: lifestyle@gleanerjm.com and let's get rid of the violent bullies in our beds.