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Hardley Lewin and Dwight Nelson 'in court'
Hardley Lewin and Dwight Nelson 'in court'
Mark Wignall
Thursday, July 15, 2010
JUDGE Dread addresses the Jamaican court in July 2010. "For the sake of clarity the usual protocols will be suspended. This will not be an intellectual sparring session between two lawyers who topped their graduating class, one for the defence, the other for the prosecution.
Today we seek the truth and I and I alone will be fielding questions and putting both parties under the scrutiny of the court, my court. Are we agreed, gentlemen? Admiral Lewin."
Lewin: "Agreed, your honour."
"Mr Nelson?" says the judge.
Nelson: "Agreed your honour, but for the sake of these proceedings may I be allowed to invoke the Official Secrets Act of ..."
var
1/1 
Judge: "...Minister Nelson, may I remind you that the 'Dread' in my name does not bear any reference to hair. If you romp with this court we will remove you from the Senate, indefinitely suspend your ministerial privileges and consign you to a lowly position in the BITU parking lot. Are we fully agreed?"
Nelson: (sheepishly) "Well, I suppose so, your honour, but you have to understand that since September 2007 any pomposity on my part is natural. People call me 'Minister' and nuff security detail follow back a mi. It rough yuh know, your honour. I am not used to being spoken to this way..."
Judge: "Adm Lewin, please wipe that broad, mocking smile off your face.
Lewin: "My apologies, your honour, it is just that the minister was turning white and..."
Judge: "Enough from both of you. Let us proceed!"
The members of the public settle down and as the last round of quiet laughter dies down, Judge Dread peers over his half-moons at Adm Lewin.
Judge: "Adm Lewin, some people refer to your allegations as scurrilous, others as reckless while some are lining you up for national honours. Today all those considerations mean little. What I would like to know is, why did the Americans, in August 2009, call you, the commissioner of police, one day before the official extradition order was conveyed to the relevant authorities? Why you?"
Lewin: "Your honour, may I speak frankly and plainly? Dem Americans is no fools. Dem always talking one-away to local journalists and dem have dossiers on every person of importance in Jamaica. Dem know how the ting go. Di yankee dem did know seh Dudus and a whole heap a JLP bigwig is friend. To circumvent the possibility of one a dem forewarning Dudus and mek him go hide out a Blue Mountain dem check me because dem trust mi an I know seh Tivoli was the mother of all garrisons and Dudus was Tivoli Dads..."
Nelson: "...Objection, your honour!"
Judge: "Mr Nelson, yuh don't understand. Is me running tings here! There will be absolutely no objections, but since yuh start, what was it about? Just dis one time!"
Nelson: "I cannot afford to live in the past. Me an' my prime minister have taken di fight to criminals..."
Judge: "....Minister Nelson, make your point!
Nelson: "I am objecting to the 'mother of all garrisons' bit. At present, Tivoli Gardens has been reduced to the baby of all garrisons so..."
Judge: (laughing, raising one hand, palm outward), "Mr Nelson you are here to contribute to justice, not stand in its way and bring ridicule to it." He once again directs his attention to Adm Lewin.
"Adm Lewin, you said that in the 15 minutes between informing Nelson and travelling to the PM's office your information channels told you that Dudus had left his St Andrew Castle and made it to the safe haven of Tivoli Gardens. The implication is, he was tipped off. How did you come by this information?"
Lewin: " As commissioner of police operating in a hostile environment it fell to me to surround myself with less than a handful of trusted officers who could be relied on in such matters. Yu don't tink seh mi have BlackBerry? I was contacted. That is all I am prepared to say, in addition to saying that I will not make my senior officers any 'Constable Red Herrings' suh dat man can lick off dem head.
Judge: "Well I don't suppose we can force any further information out of you." He turns to Dwight Nelson, Minister of National Security. "Mr Nelson, the former commissioner told the nation that upon informing you, you had, to use his own words, 'turned white'. Now isn't that a big stretch, Mr Nelson?"
Nelson: (laughing) "Rightly so, your honour. That more dan anyting else ketch him as playing with di truth much like how PM Golding in the Manatt, Phelps and...did...er, sorry, your honour. Seriously, how can a black man like me tun white? Lock him up, your honour! Tek weh him 'sir' privileges. Sen' him to barracks an mek him go shine officer boots!"
Judge: "Mr Nelson, Mr Nelson, calm yourself, for more reasons than one. Listen, I am trained in the finer points of the law an' if yuh don't come good, remember now yuh don't have any bright experienced lawyer, skilled in the wiles and guiles of circumventing the law in dis court here for you today. Let me ask you again, and psychologically, this is very important for the case. Did you turn white? If you can convince this court that Mr Lewin lied on this seemingly small issue, yu gaan clear. Again, did you turn white. Yes or no?"
Nelson: "No, your honour."
Judge: "Mr. Nelson, a giving yuh one more chance to come good either way. Can you CATEGORICALLY state that you did NOT turn white?"
Nelson: "I can categorically state that I neva did turn white, your honour."
The judge smiles and leans over his desk, seemingly towering over everyone else in the courtroom. "Are you dead sure about that Minister
Nelson. Dead sure?"
Nelson: "Dead sure, your honour," says a beaming Nelson. The judge rubs his palms together and purses his lips as those in the court sense that an important turning point is imminent.
Judge: (asking the question very slowly)"Minister Nelson, did you have a hand mirror with you that day?"
Minister Nelson drops his jaw, becomes speechless and turns white as the journalists rush out of the courtroom to email their stories. The members of the public storm out too as there is heated, animated talk among them. As Minister Nelson heads out of the courtroom sobbing, he is heard muttering to himself, "Cho, me know seh if mi did have Tom, dis would never happen. Tom a di bes'." The next day the Observer headlines scream, "Minister Nelson's doubtful story caught in a mirror".
As Admiral Lewin strolls out confidently he tells a journalist, "There is more to come. This is a serial. Line up, Hollywood. Pick a number."
observemark@gmail.com
http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/colum...-court_7798724
Mark Wignall
Thursday, July 15, 2010
JUDGE Dread addresses the Jamaican court in July 2010. "For the sake of clarity the usual protocols will be suspended. This will not be an intellectual sparring session between two lawyers who topped their graduating class, one for the defence, the other for the prosecution.
Today we seek the truth and I and I alone will be fielding questions and putting both parties under the scrutiny of the court, my court. Are we agreed, gentlemen? Admiral Lewin."
Lewin: "Agreed, your honour."
"Mr Nelson?" says the judge.
Nelson: "Agreed your honour, but for the sake of these proceedings may I be allowed to invoke the Official Secrets Act of ..."
var
1/1 Judge: "...Minister Nelson, may I remind you that the 'Dread' in my name does not bear any reference to hair. If you romp with this court we will remove you from the Senate, indefinitely suspend your ministerial privileges and consign you to a lowly position in the BITU parking lot. Are we fully agreed?"
Nelson: (sheepishly) "Well, I suppose so, your honour, but you have to understand that since September 2007 any pomposity on my part is natural. People call me 'Minister' and nuff security detail follow back a mi. It rough yuh know, your honour. I am not used to being spoken to this way..."
Judge: "Adm Lewin, please wipe that broad, mocking smile off your face.
Lewin: "My apologies, your honour, it is just that the minister was turning white and..."
Judge: "Enough from both of you. Let us proceed!"
The members of the public settle down and as the last round of quiet laughter dies down, Judge Dread peers over his half-moons at Adm Lewin.
Judge: "Adm Lewin, some people refer to your allegations as scurrilous, others as reckless while some are lining you up for national honours. Today all those considerations mean little. What I would like to know is, why did the Americans, in August 2009, call you, the commissioner of police, one day before the official extradition order was conveyed to the relevant authorities? Why you?"
Lewin: "Your honour, may I speak frankly and plainly? Dem Americans is no fools. Dem always talking one-away to local journalists and dem have dossiers on every person of importance in Jamaica. Dem know how the ting go. Di yankee dem did know seh Dudus and a whole heap a JLP bigwig is friend. To circumvent the possibility of one a dem forewarning Dudus and mek him go hide out a Blue Mountain dem check me because dem trust mi an I know seh Tivoli was the mother of all garrisons and Dudus was Tivoli Dads..."
Nelson: "...Objection, your honour!"
Judge: "Mr Nelson, yuh don't understand. Is me running tings here! There will be absolutely no objections, but since yuh start, what was it about? Just dis one time!"
Nelson: "I cannot afford to live in the past. Me an' my prime minister have taken di fight to criminals..."
Judge: "....Minister Nelson, make your point!
Nelson: "I am objecting to the 'mother of all garrisons' bit. At present, Tivoli Gardens has been reduced to the baby of all garrisons so..."
Judge: (laughing, raising one hand, palm outward), "Mr Nelson you are here to contribute to justice, not stand in its way and bring ridicule to it." He once again directs his attention to Adm Lewin.
"Adm Lewin, you said that in the 15 minutes between informing Nelson and travelling to the PM's office your information channels told you that Dudus had left his St Andrew Castle and made it to the safe haven of Tivoli Gardens. The implication is, he was tipped off. How did you come by this information?"
Lewin: " As commissioner of police operating in a hostile environment it fell to me to surround myself with less than a handful of trusted officers who could be relied on in such matters. Yu don't tink seh mi have BlackBerry? I was contacted. That is all I am prepared to say, in addition to saying that I will not make my senior officers any 'Constable Red Herrings' suh dat man can lick off dem head.
Judge: "Well I don't suppose we can force any further information out of you." He turns to Dwight Nelson, Minister of National Security. "Mr Nelson, the former commissioner told the nation that upon informing you, you had, to use his own words, 'turned white'. Now isn't that a big stretch, Mr Nelson?"
Nelson: (laughing) "Rightly so, your honour. That more dan anyting else ketch him as playing with di truth much like how PM Golding in the Manatt, Phelps and...did...er, sorry, your honour. Seriously, how can a black man like me tun white? Lock him up, your honour! Tek weh him 'sir' privileges. Sen' him to barracks an mek him go shine officer boots!"
Judge: "Mr Nelson, Mr Nelson, calm yourself, for more reasons than one. Listen, I am trained in the finer points of the law an' if yuh don't come good, remember now yuh don't have any bright experienced lawyer, skilled in the wiles and guiles of circumventing the law in dis court here for you today. Let me ask you again, and psychologically, this is very important for the case. Did you turn white? If you can convince this court that Mr Lewin lied on this seemingly small issue, yu gaan clear. Again, did you turn white. Yes or no?"
Nelson: "No, your honour."
Judge: "Mr. Nelson, a giving yuh one more chance to come good either way. Can you CATEGORICALLY state that you did NOT turn white?"
Nelson: "I can categorically state that I neva did turn white, your honour."
The judge smiles and leans over his desk, seemingly towering over everyone else in the courtroom. "Are you dead sure about that Minister
Nelson. Dead sure?"
Nelson: "Dead sure, your honour," says a beaming Nelson. The judge rubs his palms together and purses his lips as those in the court sense that an important turning point is imminent.
Judge: (asking the question very slowly)"Minister Nelson, did you have a hand mirror with you that day?"
Minister Nelson drops his jaw, becomes speechless and turns white as the journalists rush out of the courtroom to email their stories. The members of the public storm out too as there is heated, animated talk among them. As Minister Nelson heads out of the courtroom sobbing, he is heard muttering to himself, "Cho, me know seh if mi did have Tom, dis would never happen. Tom a di bes'." The next day the Observer headlines scream, "Minister Nelson's doubtful story caught in a mirror".
As Admiral Lewin strolls out confidently he tells a journalist, "There is more to come. This is a serial. Line up, Hollywood. Pick a number."
observemark@gmail.com
http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/colum...-court_7798724