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Bias against Jamaican fathers?

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  • Bias against Jamaican fathers?

    Bias against Jamaican fathers
    BY INGRID BROWN Observer senior reporter browni@jamaicaobserver.com
    Tuesday, June 15, 2010

    var addthis_pub="jamaicaobserver";


    HEAD of Fathers Incorporated Dr Herbert Gayle said there are many misconceptions about Jamaican fathers as the culture is not one which relays clean and objective information about men as parents.
    This, he argued, comes even as studies show that Jamaican fathers are even better than their European counterparts in some aspects and, in other facets, on par with the rest of the world.

    Fathers Inc head Dr Herbert Gayle gesticulates as he addresses yesterday’s Obverver Monday Exchange. At centre is Rev Dave Spence of Meadowbrook United Church, while at left is Solomon McCalla of Fathers Inc. (Photo: Naphtali Junior)

    Gayle said 65 per cent of all children in Jamaica have access to their biological fathers and that is higher than a lot of European countries, while 55 per cent of Jamaican households have fathers, which is on par with the rest of the world.
    "As for stepfathers, there are men taking up women with five and six children but that is not very common in Europe," he said.
    Gayle, who was among a group addressing the Observer Monday Exchange held yesterday at the newspaper's head offices in Kingston on issues surrounding fatherhood, said 80 per cent of young people interviewed in a recent study said their fathers provided for them.
    "But you couldn't go in public and say that Jamaican fathers are better than Europeans," he added.
    This, according to Gayle, is because there is the romanticism about mothers which is not evident among Jamaican fathers.
    "I have friends who have no mother but when them go a dance them say 'big up me mother', but there is no such thing for a father," Gayle argued.
    One reason for this, he explained, was that mothering is 90 per cent biological while fathering is 90 per cent social.
    But with Jamaicans ranked as the 12th most immigrating people and the universities turning out more women than men, Gayle said more women are migrating, giving rise to an increase in single father households.
    "In that case you have to begin to look more closely at male parenting," he said, pointing out that it was not until 2006 that Fathers Inc was invited as an organisation to the launch of Parents Month activities "and Fathers Inc has been at this since 1991", Gayle said.
    While fathers are defined by four roles -- namely provider, protector, nurturer and role model -- Gayle said everything is defined solely on the financial expectations of a man.
    A 2004 St Catherine study, he said, revealed that fathers who were less financially sound got a lower rating than absentee fathers who provided financial support.
    "Fathers who were local but broke got four out of 10 as a score and we are talking about fathers who comb hair, wash and do everything; but fathers who live in the US, make one phone call per week but send money home got scores of nine out of 10," he said.
    Gayle, who is also an anthropologist of social violence, said the perception has been passed down throughout generations that a man who is unemployed is half a man and is blocking a full man from coming into the house.
    These, he explained further, are some of the issues that fathers voice to the Fathers Inc on a regular basis.
    "They come and call us in tears saying they going to have to go tief because they already hear the mother and children discussing [that] dem no serve no purpose," Gayle said.
    Mothers, on the other hand, have one massive social expectation of nurturing, and when a mother does that as well as work she is greatly recognised. "I have worked with people who have scars on their bodies where their mothers stab and burn them with clothes iron yet to them they are the greatest mothers on earth," he said.
    Gayle also said boys who did not have fathers were not any less nurturing to their children, especially when their first child is a girl.
    He cited the instances of some of the street boys, who are themselves fathers, and spoke of the nurturing, loving approach they had towards their children."When the first child is a girl it has a bigger dent on them as fathers and so they say my father was absent but under no circumstance will I do that to my child," he explained.
    Many of these boys, he said, were drafted into the role of providers at a very early age to take care of their mothers and siblings when fathers were absent from the home.
    Monica Campbell-McFarlane of EntXpress Productions Limited said a new vision is needed of how to elevate the role and necessity of both parents, and create the environment where both can be on an equal footing. "There has to be a concerted effort in the society to put forward what is that new blueprint of a mother and father and how fathers can be empowered to fulfil their roles," she said.

  • #2
    Originally posted by MissLondon View Post
    Bias against Jamaican fathers
    BY INGRID BROWN Observer senior reporter browni@jamaicaobserver.com
    Tuesday, June 15, 2010


    One reason for this, he explained, was that mothering is 90 per cent biological while fathering is 90 per cent social.
    Would any of the fathers on here agree with this?

    Comment


    • #3
      I am not sure I even understand what that means.

      Is he saying that being a mother comes naturally for the most part, but being a father is something you are socialized to do?
      "‎It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men" - Frederick Douglass

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Islandman View Post
        I am not sure I even understand what that means.

        Is he saying that being a mother comes naturally for the most part, but being a father is something you are socialized to do?
        Yes I think so.
        I think he's reffering the "maternal instinct" which people say is inherent in mothers. No one really talks about a "paternal instinct", maybe becuase there isn't one, or its not as strong?

        Comment


        • #5
          I believe there is a paternal instinct. Its more a protective role than a nurturing one but as a father I believe it is there.

          I would not argue with someone who says its not a strong, thats probably true. Its generally easier for a father to disown a child who has gone down the wrong path or lives an "unacceptable" lifestyle that it is for a mother.
          "‎It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men" - Frederick Douglass

          Comment


          • #6
            Fathers tend to geta bum rap; anyway you want to look at it. (And the poor excuses for fathers ..don't improve the overall views on fatherhood).

            Coincidentially, just now--I overheard one of our sales associate speaking to a customer. She was mentioning that during the week of Mothers' Day, there is a significant increase in shipping to mothers.....................

            During the week of Fathers Day...no one seem to care. There are few Fathers day shipment.

            I commented that 'men are not fussy'. If you forget their birthday--all is still well. Don't make that mistake for (women).

            On a personal note: My Father was the greatest man I know!!
            The only time TRUTH will hurt you...is if you ignore it long enough

            HL

            Comment


            • #7
              who? the same wutliss father them who quick fi tell them friend inna rumbar "a my big son that" or "a my daughter that" when them turn super star or professionals when them have nothing to do with raising the kids?
              • Don't let negative things break you, instead let it be your strength, your reason for growth. Life is for living and I won't spend my life feeling cheated and downtrodden.

              Comment


              • #8
                "On a personal note: My Father was the greatest man I know!!"

                sorry can't say so. I know a few fathers who single handed grew their kids when mothers were not present. They did EVERYTHING for their kids to progress.
                • Don't let negative things break you, instead let it be your strength, your reason for growth. Life is for living and I won't spend my life feeling cheated and downtrodden.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Dem wutliss ones mi call dem sperm donors. Still too many youths need to ease off the Joe Grind lifestyle. A brethren the other day had two girls pregnant at the same time. Him lucky a nuh USA him gwaan wid dem tings due to the child $upport dragnet team. There are many fathers who pull their own weight & often times we nuh see dem.
                  Winning means you're willing to go longer, work harder, and give more than anyone else - Vince Lombardi

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by HL View Post

                    On a personal note: My Father was the greatest man I know!!
                    Yep!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      ultimately that is for my children to say....there ARE paternal instincts. this is however affected by whether you live with the children or not.

                      one of my greatest joys is and has been putting my children to bed every night, right now i miss them terribly...naw lie.

                      south africa is great but when i am going to bed...i miss my children.

                      Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving; it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe. Thomas Paine

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Gamma View Post
                        ultimately that is for my children to say....there ARE paternal instincts. this is however affected by whether you live with the children or not.
                        Thats a very good point and something I have noticed myself. Fathers who live with their children from birth tend to have a much stronger bond with them, even if the relationship with the mother breaks down further along the line, than fathers who have never lived with their children. From what I have seen anyway.

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