Tweet
****
Got a new Cardiologist.
****
I Love This Doctor!!!!
****
Q: Doctor, ****I've heard that ****cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. ****Is this true? ****
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it--don't waste on exercise. ****Everything wear out eventually. ****Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. ****Want to live longer? ****Take nap. ****
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? ****
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. ****What does cow eat? **** Hay and corn. ****And what are these? **** Vegetables. ****So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. ****Need grain? ****Eat chicken. ****Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). ****And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? ****
A: ****No, not at all. ****Wine made from fruit. ****Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. ****Beer also made of grain. ****Bottom up!
Q: How ****can I calculate my body/fat ratio? ****
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. ****If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.
Q: What ****are some of ****the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? ****
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. ****My philosophy is: No pain---.good!
**** **** **** ****
Q: ****Aren't fried foods bad for you? ****
A: ****YOU NOT LISTENING! ****Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. ****In fact, they permeated by it. ****How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!? ****
Q: ****Will ****sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? ****
A: Definitely not! ****When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. ****You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach. ****
Q: ****Is chocolate bad for me? ****
A: ****Are you crazy?!? ****HEL-LO-O!! ****Cocoa bean! ****Another vegetable! ****It best feel-good food around!
Q: ****Is swimming good for your figure? ****
A: ****If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..
Q: ****Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle? ****
A: ****Hey! ****'Round' a shape! ****
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And ****remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, ****totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ****ride!!"
****
AND--..
For ****those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. ****It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional ****studies. ****
1. The Japanese eat very little fat
**** **** **** and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
**** **** **** and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
**** **** **** and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
**** **** **** and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. ****
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of ****sausages and fats ****
**** **** **** and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like... ****Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
****
****
--
'No exercise is better for the human heart than reaching down to lift up another person.'
Got a new Cardiologist.
****
I Love This Doctor!!!!
****
Q: Doctor, ****I've heard that ****cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. ****Is this true? ****
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it--don't waste on exercise. ****Everything wear out eventually. ****Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. ****Want to live longer? ****Take nap. ****
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? ****
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. ****What does cow eat? **** Hay and corn. ****And what are these? **** Vegetables. ****So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. ****Need grain? ****Eat chicken. ****Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). ****And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? ****
A: ****No, not at all. ****Wine made from fruit. ****Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. ****Beer also made of grain. ****Bottom up!
Q: How ****can I calculate my body/fat ratio? ****
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. ****If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.
Q: What ****are some of ****the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? ****
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. ****My philosophy is: No pain---.good!
**** **** **** ****
Q: ****Aren't fried foods bad for you? ****
A: ****YOU NOT LISTENING! ****Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. ****In fact, they permeated by it. ****How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!? ****
Q: ****Will ****sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? ****
A: Definitely not! ****When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. ****You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach. ****
Q: ****Is chocolate bad for me? ****
A: ****Are you crazy?!? ****HEL-LO-O!! ****Cocoa bean! ****Another vegetable! ****It best feel-good food around!
Q: ****Is swimming good for your figure? ****
A: ****If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..
Q: ****Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle? ****
A: ****Hey! ****'Round' a shape! ****
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And ****remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, ****totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ****ride!!"
****
AND--..
For ****those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. ****It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional ****studies. ****
1. The Japanese eat very little fat
**** **** **** and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
**** **** **** and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
**** **** **** and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
**** **** **** and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. ****
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of ****sausages and fats ****
**** **** **** and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like... ****Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
****
****
--
'No exercise is better for the human heart than reaching down to lift up another person.'