friday funnies or is it?

[Gamma]

> A woman in a
> hot air balloon realized she was lost.
> She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat
> below. She shouted to him,
>
> "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I
> would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
>
>
> The man consulted his portable GPS and replied,
> "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above
> ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31
> degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees,
> 49.09 minutes west longitude.
>
> "She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be an Obama
> Democrat."
>
> "I am,"replied the man. "How did you know?"
>
> "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told
> me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to
> do with your information, and I'm still lost.
> Frankly, you've not been much help to me."
>
> The man smiled and responded, "You must be a
> Republican."
>
> "I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"
>
> "Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are
> or where you are going. You've risen to where you are
> due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you
> have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your
> problem. You're in exactly
> the same position you were in before we met, but
> somehow, now it's my fault."

[Willi]

See yuh and raise yuh one!

Stony Hill Police Department-Investigation!!!!!!!

AJamaican Police officer, Paul Pasmore,stops at alittlefarm in Bog Walk, and talks withthe old farmer.

He tells the farmer,"Mi need fe inspect yuh property, mi'ear say you ahillegally growganja pan yu property!."

The old farmer says, "Okay, butdon't go ovah dat side ah de field."

Officer Pasmore verbally explodes, saying, "But wait a rahtid minit,me'avede authorityahdeJamaican government wid mi!"


Pointing to the badge on his chest he proudly says,"Seedis badge, bwoy?
Dis badge meansmican guh anywehmi wish on hennybaddy land. No questions asked.
Mi mek mi-self clear.. Yuh undahstand wah mi a seh?!"

The old farmer nods politely and goes aboutdigging his yam.

Later, thefarmer hears loud screams andsees Passy running for his life, and close behind is the huge bull.

With every step, the bull is gaining ground on the Passy.

Officer Pasmore is clearly terrified.

The old farmer immediatelystop digging his yellow yam, runs to the fence, and yells at the top of his lungs,

"Yuh badge, mon.. Passy! Show'im yu**************** badge!"