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  • Marriage eludes high-achieving black women

    Marriage eludes high-achieving black women Many remain single and childless, according to new research
    By Brian Alexander
    msnbc.com contributor
    updated 8:31 a.m. ET, Thurs., Aug 13, 2009

    Michelle Obama may have become an archetypal African-American female success story — law career, strong marriage, happy children — but the reality is often very different for other highly educated black women.
    They face a series of challenges in navigating education, career, marriage and child-bearing, dilemmas that often leave them single and childless even when they’d prefer marriage and family, according to a research study recently presented at the American Sociological Society’s annual meeting in San Francisco.

    Yale researchers Natalie Nitsche and Hannah Brueckner argued that “marriage chances for highly educated black women have declined over time relative to white women.” Women of both races with postgraduate educations “face particularly hard choices between career and motherhood,” they said, “but especially in the absence of a reliable partner.”

    And there’s the rub. As noted in a recent Sexploration column, contrary to old media reports, most educated, professional women who want to marry can and do marry. But the picture is less bright for high-achieving black women because “marriage markets” for them have deteriorated to the point that many remain unmarried, the researchers found. Since these women also feel pressured not to become single mothers, they often go childless as well, the researchers found.

    In the study, Nitsche and Brueckner used data from the U.S. Census Bureau’s Current Population Survey of 50,000 households dating back to the 1970s to tease out data points on race, gender, education, marriage and fertility.
    Among black women with postgraduate educations born between 1956 and 1960, the median age at which they gave birth for the first time was 34 years old. This was about the same as it was for white women in the same demographic. But once white women reached their 30s, many more of them did give birth, often more than once. Many black women did not. The rate of childlessness among this group of black women rose from 30 percent for those born between 1950 and 1955, to 45 percent for those born between 1956 and 1960.

    The rate of childlessness does moderate somewhat in highly educated black women born between 1961 and 1970. In this group, 38 percent have remained childless.
    Beyond the personal interests of individual women, the trend is significant because “in terms of American society, this is one additional obstacle” to the broadening of the black middle class, Brueckner said. Fewer highly educated black people having children means that they cannot pass on those advantages and knowledge.”

    This defeats the goal of affirmative action, argue some demographers. The idea behind assuring that blacks had access to higher education and graduate school was that after a generation or so, African-Americans would reach a kind of achievement parity after generations of suffering educational and career restriction. But if black women, who comprise 71 percent of black graduate students, according to the census data, do not have children, the rate of achievement reaches a kind of familial dead end.
    Another Yale sociologist, Averil Clarke, who has written a soon-to-be-published book called “Love Inequality: Black Women, College Degrees, and the Family We Can’t Have,” sees the impact of this demographic trend in a slightly different, and more romantic, light. It’s not about passing on economic and educational advantages, though these concerns are valid, she said. It’s about love.

    “I think this inequality can be construed around outcomes in love,” she said. “We are very caught up right now in [the controversy] over gay marriage. Well, what are we arguing about? Whether people can have these kinds of emotionally satisfying experiences and if not, if that is unequal.” She also believes that these demographic facts, and the reasons for them, constrain the sexuality of some African-American women. She has found that many more are celibate than are white women with similar education levels. “So for me it matters because love matters.”

    Declining marriage chances
    One big reason why these women remained childless is, as one might expect, that they go unmarried, experts say. Among highly educated women of both races, about 22 percent between the ages of 20 and 45 were single in the 1970s. But then that number diverged. It has remained the same for white women, but now 38 percent of black women have never been married.

    “Their marriage chances have declined,” Brueckner explained. “This may sound trivial but one reason is that they outnumber men in this education group.” The disparity in education is important because Americans have a strong tendency to marry those with equal levels of education, a trend that has only grown stronger since World War II. “So since there are fewer men with the same education,” Brueckner continued, “you either have to find another group you can marry or you are out of luck. You have nowhere to go.”

    Highly educated black men tend to “outmarry” (marry outside race, religion or ethnicity) at a higher rate than black women, researchers say. Think of Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates or Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. Both married white women.
    Black women are either much more reluctant to marry outside their race, or do not have the opportunity to do so. The answer is both, Clarke said.
    In interviews with a large number of black women, she found that community pressures on black women to marry black men can be more intense than the reverse.

    “A greater negative reaction falls on them,” Clarke said. “Some women in my sample told stories of African-American men on college campuses getting upset if they dated outside the race. There seems to be a sense of some policing of women’s sexuality. I think women are more controlled by these community and family pressures around who they should date. Men have greater freedom.” (Some black women I know go nuclear when they see a bro with a white woman).

    But it may also be true that even highly educated black women who are willing and able to pursue a relationship with a man of another race won’t have the opportunity. A sociological line of inquiry called “exchange theory” suggests that in the piggy bank of goods each of us brings to a possible relationship — money, smarts, sense of humor, looks, family background, education, gender — African heritage is devalued compared with European or Asian heritage. African-American females, even with lots of education, do not fetch as much “value” in the marriage market.
    That may be a cold way to look at love, romance, and sex, but studies dating back to the 1980s support it.

    Of course if highly educated black women felt free to have children outside of marriage, they could still have a family. When some white women make that choice it is often seen as a kind of liberal empowerment.
    But according to Clarke, black women are concerned about looking "ghetto." Public interpretation of our actions matter for everyone, but especially for black women, Clarke explained. “When it comes to the issue of black women and should or should they not make a choice to have a child alone, these women are very much aware that the decision to do it makes people question their class status. We associate single unwed child bearing with poor African-American women.”

    Not all women who remain unmarried and childless are unhappy about it. But for a set of sometimes complex social reasons, some high-achieving black women find themselves disappointed. “That this is something being denied to people is important in and of itself,” Clarke said.
    Brian Alexander is the author of the book “America Unzipped: In Search of Sex and Satisfaction," now in paperback.
    Winning means you're willing to go longer, work harder, and give more than anyone else - Vince Lombardi

  • #2
    These women need to broaden their horizons. If the black men cannot step up to the plate, by all means ... look elsewhere. Where is it written that these women should restrict themselves?

    Secondly, there are some whose attitude is rotten because they're educated. The least little thing they gonna mek it known "I don't need a man, I've got my education!"
    "Jamaica's future reflects its past, having attained only one per cent annual growth over 30 years whilst neighbours have grown at five per cent." (Article)

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    • #3
      Point 2 is the crux of it really....if they want to boraden their horizons that is there business. CLEARLY they don't and that is a personal preference.

      this thing about wanting a man who is in touch with his feminine side is a bunch a hogwash...dem want a man or a woman? Yu hear a man asking about a woman in touch wid her masculine side, is a man him want?

      I know a few of those professional women who now wish they had been more circumspect and respectful when they were younger. some have adopted the attitude that they don't need a man to have a child.

      my own person opinion is that beyond the gestation period the presence or absence of a father in terms of character development, seems to be a far more influential factor than that of the mother for girls AND boys! 2 penny ha'penny's worth.

      Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving; it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe. Thomas Paine

      Comment


      • #4
        I memba when mi just come from yard, and mi used to drive an old rusty carolla, and nuff a dem look pon mi and skin up dem face. Dem would love fi mi ask dem out today.
        True, some a dem attitude was just too nasty.
        Winning means you're willing to go longer, work harder, and give more than anyone else - Vince Lombardi

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Hortical View Post
          I memba when mi just come from yard, and mi used to drive an old rusty carolla, and nuff a dem look pon mi and skin up dem face. Dem would love fi mi ask dem out today.
          True, some a dem attitude was just too nasty.
          Even wid the rust, it's still a Corolla
          Life is a system of half-truths and lies, opportunistic, convenient evasion.”
          - Langston Hughes

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          • #6
            Mi know a sisten who tell mi her aunt was asked out on a date by Denzel Washington in the eighties (?) when he was a struggling actor in NY. But she did not give the man the time of day. The last time I checked, Denzel has won two academy awards, one for best supporting actor for Glory, and best male actor for Training Day.
            Winning means you're willing to go longer, work harder, and give more than anyone else - Vince Lombardi

            Comment


            • #7
              what about barack obama? even michelle seh shi did give him a hard time because him was an intern and she was the lawyer.....good thing him smooth! truth is not every man smooth like him but that doesn't mean they are any less ambitious.

              Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving; it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe. Thomas Paine

              Comment


              • #8
                Biased Argument?

                Originally posted by Gamma View Post
                I know a few of those professional women who now wish they had been more circumspect and respectful when they were younger. some have adopted the attitude that they don't need a man to have a child.

                my own person opinion is that beyond the gestation period the presence or absence of a father in terms of character development, seems to be a far more influential factor than that of the mother for girls AND boys! 2 penny ha'penny's worth.
                Personally, my view has always been that, while having BOTH a father and a mother in the home is extremely important for the proper upbringing of a child (there is absolutely no question about this), often we exaggerate the actual contribution of the father while downplaying those of the mother.

                Question 1: How do you account for the fact that, despite the overwhelming number of single-mother homes (Caribbean men are, to a great extent, almost legendary in their irresponsibility as far as family and home life are concerned), many of those children nevertheless turn out impressively?

                Question 2: Would you agree that, in many cases, the mother is the primary decision-maker in the small things that really matter despite the presence of a father? (I’m talking here about small, important things like packing a nutritionally-proper lunch for school, ensuring that the children’s rooms are kept tidy, ensuring that homework is done, etc.)

                End Note: It is a fact that young females are more focused in schools, colleges and, in many cases (think of how many bosses cannot do without their secretaries) in the workplace when compared with their male counterparts today. (I once posted in this forum a lengthy investigative report by The New York Times after an argument with Assasin on girls vs. boys performance in schools and colleges. I hope you had taken the time to read that piece of investigative journalism.)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Dem better don't buck me. One slam and mi breed har den leave har and tek half

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Biased, One-sided Discussion?

                    Originally posted by Hortical View Post
                    Mi know a sisten who tell mi her aunt was asked out on a date by Denzel Washington in the eighties (?) when he was a struggling actor in NY. But she did not give the man the time of day. The last time I checked, Denzel has won two academy awards, one for best supporting actor for Glory, and best male actor for Training Day.
                    So what about the men who do the same thing?!

                    I keep saying that what this Reggae Boyz Forum lacks is a gender balance! Certainly discussions would benefit from such a situation in terms of balance. At the moment, it’s a million men (seemingly) all agreeing on everything as long as they are not related to PNP-JLP issues, while poor MdmeX, the sole female, is forced to smile or keep silent.

                    Oh how I long for the days of Princess and Portia and the other radical women who used to be on this forum!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      biased? it may seem that way. but in reality i do not think that it is. it is an uncomfortable truth in my opinion. look...kids from 2 parent homes end up as soceital leeches too, the social science is not that scientific at this point (it may well be that we are yet to isolate every single minutiae of factors that go into this thing to elevate it to a pure science) but we are playing the odds and probablilites.

                      e.g. how many criminals in prison are from a single parent household consisting only of the mother vis a vis only the father or both?

                      how many unwed mothers are themselves the product of a single fanily household vis a vis the other permutations?

                      question 1...many more don't. in many instances there is a step father or uncle or someone to fill the role. young women who grow up without a father figure, overwhelmingly make poor choices in finding a mate.

                      question 2. you are correct. the mother instinct to is to make the nest habitable, no doubt and that is very important. boys and girls look to their father presence or absence in the way they choose a mate.

                      Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving; it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe. Thomas Paine

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Historian View Post
                        Question 1: How do you account for the fact that, despite the overwhelming number of single-mother homes (Caribbean men are, to a great extent, almost legendary in their irresponsibility as far as family and home life are concerned), many of those children nevertheless turn out impressively?
                        Is this a case where we define Jamaica or the Caribbean by the people who we know?


                        BLACK LIVES MATTER

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