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Dad Bernard Brown has a heart full of love
Dad Bernard Brown has a heart full of love
BY DONNA HUSSEY-WHYTE All Woman writer
Monday, June 15, 2009
BERNARD Brown sits at his keyboard in the far corner of his St Thomas living room, singing a song he composed for his three-year-old son Seantez. I will never give up, you are my own, are the words, sung while Seantez, oblivious of his father's tribute, runs freely around the room.
It's a room - save for one piece of living room suite and a desk holding the keyboard and a computer - that's void of furniture simply to accommodate the child's frantic behaviour.
Brown stops singing after the second verse to invite his son to sing along with him, but the child continues to run from one side of the large room to another shouting at the top of his lungs in a playful manner, adding his own tune to the song.
Seantez is autistic, a condition his father has come to terms with since he was diagnosed in August last year. It's a condition he embraces with patience and a heart full of love.
"I love my son. He is my company! He comes first in my life! I treat him with affection everyday," Brown said reaching for the child. "I have to show him love and let him feel special all the time."
Brown said over a year ago, the child's mother and himself ended their relationship. Since then, he has shouldered the responsibility of caring for the child single-handedly, a task he admits is not easy at times, but one that he is prepared to see through to the end.
BROWN.... I love my son (Photo: Lionel Rookwood)
"His mother still cares about him. It's not that she has abandoned him, because she visits him on weekends. But it was more convenient for him to stay with me. I will never deprive him of seeing his mother," Brown explains.
Caring for a child with autism is especially challenging for the single father who is a police officer stationed in St Thomas and who works odd hours.
"Sometimes I do 12-hour duties, sometimes I do eight, depending on the shift," he says. "I am very sceptical of who I leave him with because persons may not understand him and just think that he is rude and beat him. So if I am leaving him with anyone, the first thing I tell them is 'no matter what, don't beat him!'. I leave him with my sister-in-law when I go to work. I don't worry about him there because I teach them about autism, so they are able to deal with him." Plus, he says, he is always just a phone call away.
Brown says prior to August last year, he would constantly take his son to doctors in an effort to find our why, even at two-years-old, the child would not talk. He was introduced to Dr Maureen Samms-Vaughn at the University Hospital, who diagnosed the child with autism.
"I never heard of autism before that and wondered what it was. She gave me a book on the condition to read and I went on the Internet. When I saw what it really was, I started to cry," he says. "I read that two out of three kids diagnosed with autism are mentally impaired. Being an only child and not knowing if I will get another one, I cried because I wondered if he would be in the two's."
But, he says, he quickly took control of his emotions and decided to tackle the situation.
"I realise crying wasn't going to help the situation and that I had to face it like a man! I began to read more to understand it better. I am happy to say since then I have seen great improvements in him. Sean can now go to the bathroom by himself, if I give him his clothes, he will put them on and he is just three-years-old. He has many, many more years to go. I hope he will overcome it."
Seantez presently attends the Rainbow Basic School in St Thomas, however, the school is not equipped to deal with children with the condition. Brown's intention therefore, is to enrol his son in a school specially equipped for the autistic. However, there are two major challenges - the cost, and the fact that while he resides and works in St Thomas, the school - Promise Learning Centre - is in Kingston.
"Right now I am not sure how I will handle working in St Thomas and him going to school in Kingston, but I have to find a way to make it work, even though right now I don't have a ride."
But Brown strongly feels that if his child is given the right care, such as that offered at Promise, he will reach a far way.
"Sometimes he speaks a few words, but it is not coming out clearly, so I believe if he gets the right care, he will turn around," he said.
Brown said he wants to encourage fathers with a child or children with disabilities to stand up as a man and shoulder the responsibility.
"The child is yours, if you don't do it who should? Lots of fathers shun their responsibilities and cause children to come out as delinquents. I was in Morant Bay sometime ago and saw a child in a wheelchair, and a woman beside me said if it was her child, she would have left him at the hospital. She is a mother and she said that, then what you think the men would say?"
Brown said sometimes when he gets out of bed in the mornings, he is so tired, it appears as if he is just coming in from work. This is because his son will wake up in the middle of the night and cry for hours, non-stop, and nothing he tries will appease him.
"There is something he needs but because he cannot talk to express himself he just cries. He is also very hyperactive so sometimes he will run up and down for hours making noise. But I understand him so I don't let it bother me," he says with a smile.
It is at times like these that Brown reaches for his notebook and pen and composes songs, or goes on his keyboard and plays and sings while his son runs freely in the empty room. Music, Brown says, is his refuge away from it all. In 2001, he entered the JCDC gospel festival and won himself a bronze medal which hangs proudly in the room.
"My child comes first, so even if I meet a woman I like, the first thing I do is tell her about my child. If she cannot accept that, then it just won't work, but I am not putting anyone before him," he said.
BY DONNA HUSSEY-WHYTE All Woman writer
Monday, June 15, 2009
BERNARD Brown sits at his keyboard in the far corner of his St Thomas living room, singing a song he composed for his three-year-old son Seantez. I will never give up, you are my own, are the words, sung while Seantez, oblivious of his father's tribute, runs freely around the room.
It's a room - save for one piece of living room suite and a desk holding the keyboard and a computer - that's void of furniture simply to accommodate the child's frantic behaviour.
Brown stops singing after the second verse to invite his son to sing along with him, but the child continues to run from one side of the large room to another shouting at the top of his lungs in a playful manner, adding his own tune to the song.
Seantez is autistic, a condition his father has come to terms with since he was diagnosed in August last year. It's a condition he embraces with patience and a heart full of love.
"I love my son. He is my company! He comes first in my life! I treat him with affection everyday," Brown said reaching for the child. "I have to show him love and let him feel special all the time."
Brown said over a year ago, the child's mother and himself ended their relationship. Since then, he has shouldered the responsibility of caring for the child single-handedly, a task he admits is not easy at times, but one that he is prepared to see through to the end.
BROWN.... I love my son (Photo: Lionel Rookwood) "His mother still cares about him. It's not that she has abandoned him, because she visits him on weekends. But it was more convenient for him to stay with me. I will never deprive him of seeing his mother," Brown explains.
Caring for a child with autism is especially challenging for the single father who is a police officer stationed in St Thomas and who works odd hours.
"Sometimes I do 12-hour duties, sometimes I do eight, depending on the shift," he says. "I am very sceptical of who I leave him with because persons may not understand him and just think that he is rude and beat him. So if I am leaving him with anyone, the first thing I tell them is 'no matter what, don't beat him!'. I leave him with my sister-in-law when I go to work. I don't worry about him there because I teach them about autism, so they are able to deal with him." Plus, he says, he is always just a phone call away.
Brown says prior to August last year, he would constantly take his son to doctors in an effort to find our why, even at two-years-old, the child would not talk. He was introduced to Dr Maureen Samms-Vaughn at the University Hospital, who diagnosed the child with autism.
"I never heard of autism before that and wondered what it was. She gave me a book on the condition to read and I went on the Internet. When I saw what it really was, I started to cry," he says. "I read that two out of three kids diagnosed with autism are mentally impaired. Being an only child and not knowing if I will get another one, I cried because I wondered if he would be in the two's."
But, he says, he quickly took control of his emotions and decided to tackle the situation.
"I realise crying wasn't going to help the situation and that I had to face it like a man! I began to read more to understand it better. I am happy to say since then I have seen great improvements in him. Sean can now go to the bathroom by himself, if I give him his clothes, he will put them on and he is just three-years-old. He has many, many more years to go. I hope he will overcome it."
Seantez presently attends the Rainbow Basic School in St Thomas, however, the school is not equipped to deal with children with the condition. Brown's intention therefore, is to enrol his son in a school specially equipped for the autistic. However, there are two major challenges - the cost, and the fact that while he resides and works in St Thomas, the school - Promise Learning Centre - is in Kingston.
"Right now I am not sure how I will handle working in St Thomas and him going to school in Kingston, but I have to find a way to make it work, even though right now I don't have a ride."
But Brown strongly feels that if his child is given the right care, such as that offered at Promise, he will reach a far way.
"Sometimes he speaks a few words, but it is not coming out clearly, so I believe if he gets the right care, he will turn around," he said.
Brown said he wants to encourage fathers with a child or children with disabilities to stand up as a man and shoulder the responsibility.
"The child is yours, if you don't do it who should? Lots of fathers shun their responsibilities and cause children to come out as delinquents. I was in Morant Bay sometime ago and saw a child in a wheelchair, and a woman beside me said if it was her child, she would have left him at the hospital. She is a mother and she said that, then what you think the men would say?"
Brown said sometimes when he gets out of bed in the mornings, he is so tired, it appears as if he is just coming in from work. This is because his son will wake up in the middle of the night and cry for hours, non-stop, and nothing he tries will appease him.
"There is something he needs but because he cannot talk to express himself he just cries. He is also very hyperactive so sometimes he will run up and down for hours making noise. But I understand him so I don't let it bother me," he says with a smile.
It is at times like these that Brown reaches for his notebook and pen and composes songs, or goes on his keyboard and plays and sings while his son runs freely in the empty room. Music, Brown says, is his refuge away from it all. In 2001, he entered the JCDC gospel festival and won himself a bronze medal which hangs proudly in the room.
"My child comes first, so even if I meet a woman I like, the first thing I do is tell her about my child. If she cannot accept that, then it just won't work, but I am not putting anyone before him," he said.
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