Funny or hitting too low below the belt? - Dear Abby

[Karl]

<DIV></DIV><DIV>Dear Abby:

I am a crack dealer in New Jersey who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in a suburb of Philadelphia and one of my sisters, who lives in Bensenville, is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters who are prostitutes in Jersey City.

I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Attica for murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other brother is currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of neglecting his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in the Bronx and, indeed, is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel.

My problem is this: I love my fianc and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her.

Should I tell her about my uncle who voted for Bush?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation</DIV>

[Bruce]

RE: Funny or hitting too low below the belt? - Dear Abby

Here in Wisconsin, voters will be asked to vote for an amendment to the Wisconsin state constitution that defines marraige as between "one man and one woman" and that no other form of relationship, be it male/male, female/female, or unmarried male/female shall be recognized by the state.

I prefer to abide by the words of the former US Surgeon General who said, "If you have a monogamous relationship, keep it." (I gave up relationships for golf and a job on the graveyard shift.)

This past weekend, a man came knocking on my door asking me to vote for the amendment.

I asked him, "What's your problem? Did your wife dump you for your mother?"

[Bruce]

RE: Funny or hitting too low below the belt? - Dear Abby

Also in Wisconsin, voters will vote on a non-binding referendum to bring back capital punishment, which has been banned for about 160 years.

I believe that if somebody is convicted of a crime so horrible to warrant the death penalty, his or her execution should be brutal, public, and shown on pay per view television.

Unfortunately, the perpetrator will be put to death by lethal injection. In my opinion, by being put to death by lethal injection, the perpetrator will be getting off light. Better to lock the scumbag up and throw away the key.

[Muadib]

RE: Funny or hitting too low below the belt? - Dear Abby

That is nothing.. dem have 'intelligent' people in yard actually considering voting for the PNP.

Dennis Morrision commits suicide in the paper on a regular basis..

Talk about destroying reputation...

I wonder if these people realize the PNP will not be in power forever ? Dem mussi have dem retirement plan in Florida setup already.. 17 years ofgenetics and "Trafiguraism" has probably secured many a comfortable retirement in exile.

[Bruce]

RE: Funny or hitting too low below the belt? - Dear Abby

The original post forgot to mention:

His 15 year old sister was on Maury Povich with 19 members of a high school football team doing a paternity test on all three of her babies; and that the person who wrote Dear Abby was a guest on Jerry Springer because his boyfriend dumpe him for a sheep.