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Why, oh why?
By OWEN ELLIS, Contributor
WHENEVER IT RAINS heavily, some people (especially in certain inner city communities) leave their homes and spitefully stand up on the road side directly in front of a puddle. They then glare at every passing motorist with a look on their faces that says "if you think you bad splash me." Why?
Gentlemen, have you ever been walking down the street and see two ladies walking towards you, and you wink or wave or offer some other indication of social interest only to find that it is the one that you personally find least attractive who responds? Why?
Then there are the people who approach you to converse and they preface their convoluted presentation with the statement "yu done know." In other words, what they are about to tell you is something you already know, but they are still going to tell you again anyway, whether you like it or not. Why?
An old colleague who has obviously had quite a few drinks meets you in a crowded dance, stage show or night club when the music is thumping, and proceeds to attempt some important discussion about business. This usually means that he has to get very close to shout into your ears and literally try to suffocate you with his alcohol breath. Why?
Then there are those beauty-conscious women who shave off their entire eyebrows just so they can use a pencil to draw it back. Why?
And brothers, why do our women choose to have discussions with us that require serious intellectual input, in the middle of a sexual encounter? They will pause in the middle of the sweating and grunting to ask you things like "how do you really feel about me?" or "will you still love me tomorrow?" Why?
People go to the beach and head straight to the water because they presumably don't mind getting wet. They wear outfits specially designed to be worn in water, but as soon as it starts to rain, they rush to find shelter. Why? And those ladies who select a very skimpy two-piece bathing suit but wear it under a towel for the entire day on the beach. Why?
And finally, do you realise that the one person in the House of Representatives who is not required to speak is the person who is officially called the speaker? Why?
Some folks may find them trivial, but these are questions on which I ponder occasionally. If there is no one else in the world pondering these issues, I can only ask one very vital and important question of "di whole a unnu". Why?
Readers can box up a response and send it to: box-mi-back@hotmail.com
By OWEN ELLIS, Contributor
WHENEVER IT RAINS heavily, some people (especially in certain inner city communities) leave their homes and spitefully stand up on the road side directly in front of a puddle. They then glare at every passing motorist with a look on their faces that says "if you think you bad splash me." Why?
Gentlemen, have you ever been walking down the street and see two ladies walking towards you, and you wink or wave or offer some other indication of social interest only to find that it is the one that you personally find least attractive who responds? Why?
Then there are the people who approach you to converse and they preface their convoluted presentation with the statement "yu done know." In other words, what they are about to tell you is something you already know, but they are still going to tell you again anyway, whether you like it or not. Why?
An old colleague who has obviously had quite a few drinks meets you in a crowded dance, stage show or night club when the music is thumping, and proceeds to attempt some important discussion about business. This usually means that he has to get very close to shout into your ears and literally try to suffocate you with his alcohol breath. Why?
Then there are those beauty-conscious women who shave off their entire eyebrows just so they can use a pencil to draw it back. Why?
And brothers, why do our women choose to have discussions with us that require serious intellectual input, in the middle of a sexual encounter? They will pause in the middle of the sweating and grunting to ask you things like "how do you really feel about me?" or "will you still love me tomorrow?" Why?
People go to the beach and head straight to the water because they presumably don't mind getting wet. They wear outfits specially designed to be worn in water, but as soon as it starts to rain, they rush to find shelter. Why? And those ladies who select a very skimpy two-piece bathing suit but wear it under a towel for the entire day on the beach. Why?
And finally, do you realise that the one person in the House of Representatives who is not required to speak is the person who is officially called the speaker? Why?
Some folks may find them trivial, but these are questions on which I ponder occasionally. If there is no one else in the world pondering these issues, I can only ask one very vital and important question of "di whole a unnu". Why?
Readers can box up a response and send it to: box-mi-back@hotmail.com