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Svengali Lives
Svengali Lives
Daddy OhTony Robinson
Sunday, January 13, 2008
We, ignorant of ourselves,
Beg often our own harms,
Which the wise powers
Deny us for our good.
- Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra
One of the worst things is to be ignorant of ourselves, not knowing who we are, what we are capable of, what strengths we have, or what our limitations are. That creates a vacuum in our lives, and we all know that nature abhors a vacuum, so it has to be filled. Enter Svengali.
Now I'm pretty sure that many people may not know who Svengali was, unless they are avid readers, or perhaps they may have heard the word but had no idea who or what it was.
Well, Svengali is the name of the fictional character in George du Maurier's 1894 novel, Trilby. It is frequently used to describe any kind of coach who seems to exercise an extreme degree of domination over a performer, especially if the person is female and believes that she can only perform well in the presence of the coach.
Basically, it's a person who completely dominates another, usually with selfish or sinister motives. In the book, Trilby, Svengali would either fawn or bully, and could be grossly impertinent. He had a kind of cynical humour, which was more offensive than amusing, and always laughed at the wrong thing, at the wrong time, in the wrong place, and his laughter was always derisive and full of malice.
Svengali is basically an emotional bully, a puppeteer, who keeps a woman under his complete control via some form of hypnosis. The word Svengali has entered the language to mean a person with evil intent, who manipulates another to do what is desired.
So why am I telling you all this? Because even though far removed from the nineteenth-century novel, Svengali is alive and well today, and many of our women are feeling his power. Svengali has to control, he gets his power from his dominance and control of women; but hear this now, and hear it well, many women want and need to be controlled. You cannot control a person who does not want to, unless you lock them up. And even prisoners will revolt and make demands, so even that lock-up theory may not hold water. The truth is, there are many women who walk with their necks sticking out, waiting for a man to slip a leash over it so that they can be led.
Take off that leash and they amble through life aimlessly, without purpose, and horror of horrors, as far as they are concerned, without a man. These women have to have a man in their lives at all costs, and that man has to be their controller, their daddy, their jailer, their Svengali. Look around and you'll see that there are many women who flit from one sad 'beat down' relationship to another, or are stuck in a relationship where the man has full control of every aspect of their lives. Either they seek out these men, or the men seek them out, willing prey and eager predator, forming an unholy alliance, a sick symbiosis, with one feeding on the other's weakness, but with both of them being oh so weak.
In no way will the Svengali type seek out women who are strong, self-assured and independent. Instead he sets his eyes on, and isolates, then controls the weak, making her his personal slave. His game is to manipulate, control, get into her head until she believes that her life is worthless without him, and only he can advise or tell her what path and decisions she must take. To do so, he whittles away her self-esteem, cuts her off from her family and friends, isolates her emotionally. If she makes contact with her siblings, he may even contact them too, if they happen to be female, and verbally abuse them, warning them to mind their own business and to give their sister breathing space. "Listen, why can't you allow your sister to be happy and live her life, why do you interfere so much? She is an adult, and needs to make her decisions and I am here to guide her, so back off."
Of course he won't contact a brother, for Svengalis are usually cowards who prey on the emotionally weak and those who they think they can strike fear into and manipulate. Words like, "Don't listen to them, they are jealous of your relationship with me, they want to mash us up, they treat you like you have no sense, like you are a child, only I know what's best for you," are commonly spewing from his mouth. Usually they are angry, bitter, miserable men with a string of horrid relationships behind them, relationships littered with emotional and physical abuse. Bitter women are left in his wake, women who want nothing to do with him, and they all tell the same story. "He is a control freak and sick to the core."
But should we blame Svengali, after all, is he not just filling a void, a gap, an emotional chasm that these women have a need to fill? He would say that he's doing a service, as these women are sheep, and he is the shepherd. The sad truth is, he may be right, for when you look at the profile of some of these women who allow Svengalis to oppress and suppress, batter and berate, cow and control them, it makes you wonder.
Some of these women are highly educated, from good, decent families, intelligent, seem to have a capacity for logic and clear thought, yet exhibit a naiveté and stupidity that a third-grade schoolgirl would laugh at. Worse yet, some of these women know of the man's past, know how he used to control and suppress women, know for a fact that he almost drove his previous women crazy with his controlling attitude, and even know that he lay on the hands in his past marriage. And yet they remain, perhaps hoping for a miracle, or maybe it's just a death wish on their part, a desire to have a prophecy fulfilled, like a lamb to the slaughter, their fate is sealed. One theory is that their self -esteem is so low that they feel that if their Svengali leaves them, they will never get another man.
So even a horrible man is better than no man at all. Give them a good, decent man and see how fast they ditch him, for remember, some women have to be controlled, they cannot take the reins, or they cannot exist. Take the bit out of their mouth and the saddle off their back and they trip through life as if with no purpose, bleating for a master to take control.
The signs are apparent, he controls every aspect of her life, drives her car, or she drives him everywhere, not allowing her out of his sight unless it's during working hours. He keeps her out of the limelight and she lives in his shadow. I have known one who even gave his woman the equivalent fee, instead of having her appear in a television commercial that I was producing and wanted her to appear in. Now that's full control, and Svengali lives.
The cruel irony is that these women who live under Svengali's rule are usually in denial, and see nothing wrong with their lifestyle. Others looking on may see it as brainwashing, as their action, or lack of it, defies conventional wisdom and logic. "No man, something must be wrong with her, him have her under a spell, no sane smaddy couldn't behave that way." But remember, in the book, Svengali used hypnosis to control, so who knows? All I know is that Svengali lives and many women live with him and dance to his sick music. More time.
seido1@hotmail.com
Footnote: I often wonder about the state of media nowadays, the bad grammar, wrong spelling, improper use of words, the mutilation of the English language where they put 'have' where 'has' should be, and spell 'there' when they mean 'their,' confuse 'concurrent' with 'consecutive' and countless other infractions. But I am equally amazed at the lack of media awareness of many of our people who I thought were better informed. One huge example was our recent historic trip to the karate tournament in Japan. The reports were carried in The Observer, plus I did two consecutive columns about it, The Gleaner, The Star, The Herald, all complete with colour photographs, numerous radio sports reports on various stations plus interviews, television sports reports and features, and astonishingly, there are people who are still not aware of the trip. And yet they say how informed they are. Go figure.
Daddy OhTony Robinson
Sunday, January 13, 2008
We, ignorant of ourselves,
Beg often our own harms,
Which the wise powers
Deny us for our good.
- Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra
One of the worst things is to be ignorant of ourselves, not knowing who we are, what we are capable of, what strengths we have, or what our limitations are. That creates a vacuum in our lives, and we all know that nature abhors a vacuum, so it has to be filled. Enter Svengali.
Now I'm pretty sure that many people may not know who Svengali was, unless they are avid readers, or perhaps they may have heard the word but had no idea who or what it was.
Well, Svengali is the name of the fictional character in George du Maurier's 1894 novel, Trilby. It is frequently used to describe any kind of coach who seems to exercise an extreme degree of domination over a performer, especially if the person is female and believes that she can only perform well in the presence of the coach.
Basically, it's a person who completely dominates another, usually with selfish or sinister motives. In the book, Trilby, Svengali would either fawn or bully, and could be grossly impertinent. He had a kind of cynical humour, which was more offensive than amusing, and always laughed at the wrong thing, at the wrong time, in the wrong place, and his laughter was always derisive and full of malice.
Svengali is basically an emotional bully, a puppeteer, who keeps a woman under his complete control via some form of hypnosis. The word Svengali has entered the language to mean a person with evil intent, who manipulates another to do what is desired.
So why am I telling you all this? Because even though far removed from the nineteenth-century novel, Svengali is alive and well today, and many of our women are feeling his power. Svengali has to control, he gets his power from his dominance and control of women; but hear this now, and hear it well, many women want and need to be controlled. You cannot control a person who does not want to, unless you lock them up. And even prisoners will revolt and make demands, so even that lock-up theory may not hold water. The truth is, there are many women who walk with their necks sticking out, waiting for a man to slip a leash over it so that they can be led.
Take off that leash and they amble through life aimlessly, without purpose, and horror of horrors, as far as they are concerned, without a man. These women have to have a man in their lives at all costs, and that man has to be their controller, their daddy, their jailer, their Svengali. Look around and you'll see that there are many women who flit from one sad 'beat down' relationship to another, or are stuck in a relationship where the man has full control of every aspect of their lives. Either they seek out these men, or the men seek them out, willing prey and eager predator, forming an unholy alliance, a sick symbiosis, with one feeding on the other's weakness, but with both of them being oh so weak.
In no way will the Svengali type seek out women who are strong, self-assured and independent. Instead he sets his eyes on, and isolates, then controls the weak, making her his personal slave. His game is to manipulate, control, get into her head until she believes that her life is worthless without him, and only he can advise or tell her what path and decisions she must take. To do so, he whittles away her self-esteem, cuts her off from her family and friends, isolates her emotionally. If she makes contact with her siblings, he may even contact them too, if they happen to be female, and verbally abuse them, warning them to mind their own business and to give their sister breathing space. "Listen, why can't you allow your sister to be happy and live her life, why do you interfere so much? She is an adult, and needs to make her decisions and I am here to guide her, so back off."
Of course he won't contact a brother, for Svengalis are usually cowards who prey on the emotionally weak and those who they think they can strike fear into and manipulate. Words like, "Don't listen to them, they are jealous of your relationship with me, they want to mash us up, they treat you like you have no sense, like you are a child, only I know what's best for you," are commonly spewing from his mouth. Usually they are angry, bitter, miserable men with a string of horrid relationships behind them, relationships littered with emotional and physical abuse. Bitter women are left in his wake, women who want nothing to do with him, and they all tell the same story. "He is a control freak and sick to the core."
But should we blame Svengali, after all, is he not just filling a void, a gap, an emotional chasm that these women have a need to fill? He would say that he's doing a service, as these women are sheep, and he is the shepherd. The sad truth is, he may be right, for when you look at the profile of some of these women who allow Svengalis to oppress and suppress, batter and berate, cow and control them, it makes you wonder.
Some of these women are highly educated, from good, decent families, intelligent, seem to have a capacity for logic and clear thought, yet exhibit a naiveté and stupidity that a third-grade schoolgirl would laugh at. Worse yet, some of these women know of the man's past, know how he used to control and suppress women, know for a fact that he almost drove his previous women crazy with his controlling attitude, and even know that he lay on the hands in his past marriage. And yet they remain, perhaps hoping for a miracle, or maybe it's just a death wish on their part, a desire to have a prophecy fulfilled, like a lamb to the slaughter, their fate is sealed. One theory is that their self -esteem is so low that they feel that if their Svengali leaves them, they will never get another man.
So even a horrible man is better than no man at all. Give them a good, decent man and see how fast they ditch him, for remember, some women have to be controlled, they cannot take the reins, or they cannot exist. Take the bit out of their mouth and the saddle off their back and they trip through life as if with no purpose, bleating for a master to take control.
The signs are apparent, he controls every aspect of her life, drives her car, or she drives him everywhere, not allowing her out of his sight unless it's during working hours. He keeps her out of the limelight and she lives in his shadow. I have known one who even gave his woman the equivalent fee, instead of having her appear in a television commercial that I was producing and wanted her to appear in. Now that's full control, and Svengali lives.
The cruel irony is that these women who live under Svengali's rule are usually in denial, and see nothing wrong with their lifestyle. Others looking on may see it as brainwashing, as their action, or lack of it, defies conventional wisdom and logic. "No man, something must be wrong with her, him have her under a spell, no sane smaddy couldn't behave that way." But remember, in the book, Svengali used hypnosis to control, so who knows? All I know is that Svengali lives and many women live with him and dance to his sick music. More time.
seido1@hotmail.com
Footnote: I often wonder about the state of media nowadays, the bad grammar, wrong spelling, improper use of words, the mutilation of the English language where they put 'have' where 'has' should be, and spell 'there' when they mean 'their,' confuse 'concurrent' with 'consecutive' and countless other infractions. But I am equally amazed at the lack of media awareness of many of our people who I thought were better informed. One huge example was our recent historic trip to the karate tournament in Japan. The reports were carried in The Observer, plus I did two consecutive columns about it, The Gleaner, The Star, The Herald, all complete with colour photographs, numerous radio sports reports on various stations plus interviews, television sports reports and features, and astonishingly, there are people who are still not aware of the trip. And yet they say how informed they are. Go figure.