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A matter of self-control
published: Sunday | December 2, 2007
In Jamaica, it seems, self-control has become our most despised and best forgotten cousin. We have embraced as our closest siblings, vulgarity, indiscipline, self-indulgence and a lack of restraint.
We are reaping the results of this attitude in every area of our society. It is seen in the level of corruption in the public sector, the lack of respect for law and order and how the police enforce the law. It is seen in the way people drive on the roads, in the breakdown of family life, and in rampant, unrestrained sexual behaviour. It is seen in the lack of discipline in the schools, the lack of respect people display for each other and the expression of unrestrained anger. It is seen in the rising incidence of domestic violence. It is seen in the high murder rate. It is seen in the high level of child abuse. It is seen in the music and fashion of the dancehall culture. It is seen in the abuse of the environment.
Approach backfired
We have sown to the wind and we are now reaping the whirlwind. For all those persons who thought that it was modern and liberal to throw away restraint in our conduct, they should now clearly see that such an approach has backfired. The corruption which has now become a characteristic of public life has tainted our nation. As a country, since last year, we have fallen by 23 places among the countries on the International Perception Index which ranks corruption in 180 countries. Of the seven English-speaking Caribbean countries, we rank sixth. This should be a wake-up call to us as a nation. We cannot hope to get assistance from the international community with this type of reputation. We need courageous leadership in order to clean up the sty of corruption that exists within this nation.
The impact of our lack of restraint is also seen in our children. My heart weeps when I read the stories written about our children in The Gleaner - those who are left on their own so that their parents can go out to wear bling and 'spread out and profile' at Passa Passa; those who are subject to gunmen hiding in their homes and can do nothing about it; those, both boys and girls, who have been raped by adults. Our children are suffering; our children are being scarred. We are sowing seeds now for the destruction of our country beyond anything we have seen.
There is an urgent need for our family life to be addressed. Families form the basis of society. This should be the structure within which morals and values are taught. Self-control should begin to be practised in this context. Our family structure, however, is now fragmented because of our unrestrained sexual behaviour. There is an urgent need for persons who want to have sex to understand that this means that they are potential parents and be prepared for parenting. The Government needs to mandate parenting classes for girls and babyfathers (who need to be identified) at the stage of pregnancy. This should be continued at every level of the child's development. This is not a matter of interfering in persons' lives; this is a matter of the survival of our nation.
Sex was created by God for the context of marriage. Our using sex outside of its right context has resulted in untold suffering to our people. Sex is for marriage, marriage is for adults, and, therefore, children should not be given the okay to be having sex. The fact that we have lowered the age of consent to 16 shows that as a nation, we are far from understanding the social and moral impact of unrestrained sexual behaviour. The Time magazine of May 10, 2004 published an article, 'What makes teens tick', which discussed the most recent findings on the study of the brain, using MRI, which shows that the brain develops from the back to the front. The area at the back which matures earliest controls the development of the senses, vision, hearing etc. The last area to mature is the forebrain, which controls functions such as planning, setting priorities, organising thoughts, suppressing impulses and weighing the consequences of one's actions. To summarise - the area of the brain which makes teenagers more responsible is not finished maturing as yet. As a matter of fact, the article suggest that this area becomes mature at age 25.
Self-respect
As a people, we need to practise what Abraham Heschel says in The Insecurity of Freedom: Essays on Human Existence (1967):
"Self-respect is the root of discipline: The sense of dignity grows with the ability to say 'no' to oneself."
It is necessary for the family structure to be functioning as a place of nurturing and guidance for our young, because our children need that context within which to mature. Let us rebuild the family in Jamaica. Let parents be not only biological producers of children but be nurturers and role models as well. Only then will our society move from this place of despair. If we lose our families, what have we gained? I salute the work of organisations such as Mother in Crisis and the Fletchers Land Parenting Association which are seeking to help parents guide and nurture our children. Let us all join in that fight to reclaim the Jamaican family.
Finally, let us pray that God will grant the leadership of this country the courage, wisdom and foresight they need to direct our nation in its rebuilding process.
Esther Tyson is principal of Ardenne High School, St. Andrew.
published: Sunday | December 2, 2007
In Jamaica, it seems, self-control has become our most despised and best forgotten cousin. We have embraced as our closest siblings, vulgarity, indiscipline, self-indulgence and a lack of restraint.
We are reaping the results of this attitude in every area of our society. It is seen in the level of corruption in the public sector, the lack of respect for law and order and how the police enforce the law. It is seen in the way people drive on the roads, in the breakdown of family life, and in rampant, unrestrained sexual behaviour. It is seen in the lack of discipline in the schools, the lack of respect people display for each other and the expression of unrestrained anger. It is seen in the rising incidence of domestic violence. It is seen in the high murder rate. It is seen in the high level of child abuse. It is seen in the music and fashion of the dancehall culture. It is seen in the abuse of the environment.
Approach backfired
We have sown to the wind and we are now reaping the whirlwind. For all those persons who thought that it was modern and liberal to throw away restraint in our conduct, they should now clearly see that such an approach has backfired. The corruption which has now become a characteristic of public life has tainted our nation. As a country, since last year, we have fallen by 23 places among the countries on the International Perception Index which ranks corruption in 180 countries. Of the seven English-speaking Caribbean countries, we rank sixth. This should be a wake-up call to us as a nation. We cannot hope to get assistance from the international community with this type of reputation. We need courageous leadership in order to clean up the sty of corruption that exists within this nation.
The impact of our lack of restraint is also seen in our children. My heart weeps when I read the stories written about our children in The Gleaner - those who are left on their own so that their parents can go out to wear bling and 'spread out and profile' at Passa Passa; those who are subject to gunmen hiding in their homes and can do nothing about it; those, both boys and girls, who have been raped by adults. Our children are suffering; our children are being scarred. We are sowing seeds now for the destruction of our country beyond anything we have seen.
There is an urgent need for our family life to be addressed. Families form the basis of society. This should be the structure within which morals and values are taught. Self-control should begin to be practised in this context. Our family structure, however, is now fragmented because of our unrestrained sexual behaviour. There is an urgent need for persons who want to have sex to understand that this means that they are potential parents and be prepared for parenting. The Government needs to mandate parenting classes for girls and babyfathers (who need to be identified) at the stage of pregnancy. This should be continued at every level of the child's development. This is not a matter of interfering in persons' lives; this is a matter of the survival of our nation.
Sex was created by God for the context of marriage. Our using sex outside of its right context has resulted in untold suffering to our people. Sex is for marriage, marriage is for adults, and, therefore, children should not be given the okay to be having sex. The fact that we have lowered the age of consent to 16 shows that as a nation, we are far from understanding the social and moral impact of unrestrained sexual behaviour. The Time magazine of May 10, 2004 published an article, 'What makes teens tick', which discussed the most recent findings on the study of the brain, using MRI, which shows that the brain develops from the back to the front. The area at the back which matures earliest controls the development of the senses, vision, hearing etc. The last area to mature is the forebrain, which controls functions such as planning, setting priorities, organising thoughts, suppressing impulses and weighing the consequences of one's actions. To summarise - the area of the brain which makes teenagers more responsible is not finished maturing as yet. As a matter of fact, the article suggest that this area becomes mature at age 25.
Self-respect
As a people, we need to practise what Abraham Heschel says in The Insecurity of Freedom: Essays on Human Existence (1967):
"Self-respect is the root of discipline: The sense of dignity grows with the ability to say 'no' to oneself."
It is necessary for the family structure to be functioning as a place of nurturing and guidance for our young, because our children need that context within which to mature. Let us rebuild the family in Jamaica. Let parents be not only biological producers of children but be nurturers and role models as well. Only then will our society move from this place of despair. If we lose our families, what have we gained? I salute the work of organisations such as Mother in Crisis and the Fletchers Land Parenting Association which are seeking to help parents guide and nurture our children. Let us all join in that fight to reclaim the Jamaican family.
Finally, let us pray that God will grant the leadership of this country the courage, wisdom and foresight they need to direct our nation in its rebuilding process.
Esther Tyson is principal of Ardenne High School, St. Andrew.