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Oldie but Goldie

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  • Oldie but Goldie

    DIARY OF A JAMAICAN WHO JUST MOVED TO NORTH DAKOTA, USA
    >
    > October 8th
    > We have arrived in America!!! Finally! This marks a new chapter
    > in our lives. It's very nice here. It's a little cool, but who
    > needs HOT weather? This is perfect ... not too hot, not too
    > cold.
    >
    > October 15th
    > It is getting a little cooler, but we are adjusting. We bought
    > some sweaters today and went for a short walk. Loving
    > America!!! This is what life's about.
    >
    > October 30th
    > The weather is definitely cooler now. We taped all the windows
    > shut,so cold air cannot creep in. Outside may be cold, but it
    > feels like Jamaica in this house.
    >
    > November 11th
    > The news reports say snow is on the way ... we cannot wait!!!
    > We have never seen snow and it should be pretty exciting to see
    > it for the first time.
    >
    > November 14th
    > Started snowing. The first of the season and the first real
    > snow we have ever seen. The wife cooked buttered buns and we
    > sat by the window watching soft flakes drift down, clinging to
    > the trees and covering the ground. Could never do anything
    > like this in Jamaica. IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL SIGHT!!!
    >
    > November 15th
    > We woke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the
    > landscape. What a FANTASTIC sight! Every tree and shrub was
    > covered like a beautiful white mantle. I shovelled snow for the
    > first time and loved it. I did both our driveway and sidewalk.
    > Later, the city snowplough came along and accidentally covered
    > up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver
    > smiled and waved and I waved back and shovelled again.
    > Americans are so friendly!
    >
    > November 18th
    > It snowed an additional twelve inches last night and the
    > temperature has dropped to around four degrees. The cold
    > weather is not so bad we can take this, not at all as bad as we
    > imagined. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs have snapped
    > due to the weight of the snow. I shovelled our driveway again.
    > Shortly afterwards the snow plough came by and did his trick
    > again. Much of the snow is now brownish grey.
    >
    > November 19th
    > Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush, which
    > soon became ice again. Bought snow tires for both cars. I
    > slipped and fell on my "********************" in the driveway. Paid $130 for
    > the chiropractor, but fortunately nothing was broken. More snow
    > and ice expected.
    >
    > November 20th
    > Still cold. Sold my wife's BMW and bought a 4x4 in order to get
    > to work.
    >
    > November 21st
    > On my way to work, the 4x4 skidded into the guard-rail and did
    > considerable damage to the right fender. We had another 15
    > inches of white **************** last night. The vehicle is covered in salt
    > and crud. More shovelling in store for me today. Di damn
    > snow-plow man do him job again. Watch me an' him!
    >
    > November 22nd
    > Blouse and skirt ... the first heating bills just come! A how
    > the hell it come to so much???
    >
    > November 30th
    > A two frigging degrees out a door! And more rahtid snow de pon
    > de way. Not a tree or shrub ina di yawd whe no get damage. De
    > power off most of the night. Wi try to keep from freezing to
    > death wid candles and kerosene heater, but the heater tip over
    > an' nearly bun dung the rassclat house. Mi
    > manage to pu out the flames, but end up wid second degree burns
    > pan mi hands, bun off mi yeyebrow and yeyelash dem. Den de car
    > slide on the white **************** (again!) on the way to the hospital and
    > wi haffi write it off.
    >
    > December 5th
    > Rahtid... dis snow yah nuh out fi stop??? Di ting keeps coming
    > down! Mi affi put on all a di clothes wey mi own just fi go
    > out to di damn mailbox. If I ever catch the bitch wey drive di
    > rahtid snow-plough yuh see, I gwine mek him mumma feel it. Me
    > really think sey 'im hide round di corner and
    > wait 'til me finish shovel, den come down the street fast fast
    > and cover up wi driveway again. Wicked nuh blow wow!!!
    >
    > December 10th
    > The power still off. The toilette freeze up some and part a di
    > roof look lik it out fi cave in.
    >
    > December 15th
    > Eleven more **************************************** inches a snow an' ice !!!!!!!!!! Jah
    > know...dis nah right. I buss up the snow-plow wid di pick axe
    > mi did have inna di shed, but the driva get weh.
    >
    > December 18th
    > The **************** car won't start and mi tink mi ah go snow-blind. Mi
    > can feel mi toe dem and mi nuh see the boold******************** sun fi
    > weeks!!!! An' guess wha? The weatherman ah predicts more
    > snow!!!!!!!! Good fi **************** him. The wind chill is 30 ****************************************
    > degrees below zero!!
    >
    >
    >
    > December 22nd
    > Me a move back to Jamaica teday 'cause dis place yah a go kill
    > mi!!!! If me can ketch a flight, at least mi will reach just
    > in time fi Christmas dung a yard. 'Merica a nuh fi everybody!!
    > !
    >
    Solidarity is not a matter of well wishing, but is sharing the very same fate whether in victory or in death.
    Che Guevara.
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