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Dear Pastor,
I'd like to commend you on the wonderful work you are doing. I'm 32 years old and I live in Canada. I have a boyfriend, if you can call him that, who is also the father of my child. He's extremely jealous and frankly at times I think he's nuts. Pastor, this is a 10-year history I'm about to get into and God knows there is not enough room to give you all the details.
To cut a long story short, I met him when I was seven months pregnant at a dance. He asked at the time if I was pregnant and I said no. I had just broken up with my unborn child's father and I needed someone. I didn't call him for several months. When I finally did, I told him I was in New York and Jamaica for several months because I didn't want him to know I lied about my pregnancy. We got past that until I told him I'm no longer with my child's father until he caught me with him.
I'm well known, not because I'm some kind of slut or anything, I'm just popular. Even people who I don't know seem to know me. When we first met of course everything was great to an extent until one day I visited him at his home without telling him I was coming over. He wasn't upset, but I wish he was. That was 8 years ago.
Would you believe me if I told you we have a 5-year-old child together and I still don't know where he lives. I'm addicted to love, but the wrong kind. I feel at times my expectations are too low and that's why I get the kind of treatments I do. My first child's father doesn't pay child support and I'm not angry because I'd rather keep him out of our lives. This man and I have been together for the last 10 years and he has changed me in so many ways. I must say both good and bad ways.
EDUCATED NURSE
I've educated myself and I am now a nurse. I take care of my children, pay my own bills and I guess I have what I need to declare my own independence, but I want more. I want to get married; I want to share the rest of my life with him as crazy as it sounds.
The fact that he has a key to my home, can come in and out as he pleases and I don't know what colour his sheets are, really bothers me. I don't know his decorating styles or if there's a picture of me or our child.
My greatest fear is that none of this will come to pass and I would have spent 10 years in a relationship based on uncertainty. I strongly believe I know what I have to do, but in my heart there is this sense of fear that's coming over me.
I'm not ready to move on without him and it depresses me where our relationship stands. He watches my every move. Every chance he gets. He accuses me of cheating. He does, probably because I have done it a few times, he has done it too. I've been so tempted to start looking into other relationship because I feel I've exhausted all my resources with him. If this doesn't work I'll just live out my fantasy and have a threesome, two girls and a guy.
Please don't judge me. I'm a child of God and it is your duty to help me. Please do so. I'm going absolutely crazy. I can't wear this perfection mask anymore. I can't be depressed any longer either. Oh, did I mention he won't even meet my mom.
L.P., Ontario, Canada
Dear L.P.,
You don't know what is my duty, so don't tell me what I should do. I don't believe any man in his right mind would marry you. Good men will run from you. I urge you to see a psychologist for professional help. It will take a very long time to address your issues. Pastor
Dear Pastor,
I'd like to commend you on the wonderful work you are doing. I'm 32 years old and I live in Canada. I have a boyfriend, if you can call him that, who is also the father of my child. He's extremely jealous and frankly at times I think he's nuts. Pastor, this is a 10-year history I'm about to get into and God knows there is not enough room to give you all the details.
To cut a long story short, I met him when I was seven months pregnant at a dance. He asked at the time if I was pregnant and I said no. I had just broken up with my unborn child's father and I needed someone. I didn't call him for several months. When I finally did, I told him I was in New York and Jamaica for several months because I didn't want him to know I lied about my pregnancy. We got past that until I told him I'm no longer with my child's father until he caught me with him.
I'm well known, not because I'm some kind of slut or anything, I'm just popular. Even people who I don't know seem to know me. When we first met of course everything was great to an extent until one day I visited him at his home without telling him I was coming over. He wasn't upset, but I wish he was. That was 8 years ago.
Would you believe me if I told you we have a 5-year-old child together and I still don't know where he lives. I'm addicted to love, but the wrong kind. I feel at times my expectations are too low and that's why I get the kind of treatments I do. My first child's father doesn't pay child support and I'm not angry because I'd rather keep him out of our lives. This man and I have been together for the last 10 years and he has changed me in so many ways. I must say both good and bad ways.
EDUCATED NURSE
I've educated myself and I am now a nurse. I take care of my children, pay my own bills and I guess I have what I need to declare my own independence, but I want more. I want to get married; I want to share the rest of my life with him as crazy as it sounds.
The fact that he has a key to my home, can come in and out as he pleases and I don't know what colour his sheets are, really bothers me. I don't know his decorating styles or if there's a picture of me or our child.
My greatest fear is that none of this will come to pass and I would have spent 10 years in a relationship based on uncertainty. I strongly believe I know what I have to do, but in my heart there is this sense of fear that's coming over me.
I'm not ready to move on without him and it depresses me where our relationship stands. He watches my every move. Every chance he gets. He accuses me of cheating. He does, probably because I have done it a few times, he has done it too. I've been so tempted to start looking into other relationship because I feel I've exhausted all my resources with him. If this doesn't work I'll just live out my fantasy and have a threesome, two girls and a guy.
Please don't judge me. I'm a child of God and it is your duty to help me. Please do so. I'm going absolutely crazy. I can't wear this perfection mask anymore. I can't be depressed any longer either. Oh, did I mention he won't even meet my mom.
L.P., Ontario, Canada
Dear L.P.,
You don't know what is my duty, so don't tell me what I should do. I don't believe any man in his right mind would marry you. Good men will run from you. I urge you to see a psychologist for professional help. It will take a very long time to address your issues. Pastor
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