tale of two boys

[Assasin]

my two sons, 5 and 4 have been playing twice a year with YMCA. I am the coach for their team. They are playing in the 6 and under age group. The older one has a good knack for the game. He holds the ball, find space and run through other sides, he also comes back and . Problem is he hardly wants to pass. The first day the gave out shirts he cried for the number 10 shirt and at the time I dobut he knew what it mean't. He scores at least one almost every game and sometimes I have to take him out of the game to give others a chance. He still has a lot to learn on the technique side but he has some talent.

My smaller son at first would cry when he touch the ground, wanted off when he didn't get the ball and sometimes would just stand and play with other kids. I almost gave up on him but since of late he is playing and like the game.

Been the coach with my two sons have been hard and it creates a problem. My bigger son has now developed a "star baller complex" saying he is the best player. Telling everyone how much he scores and listening to other parents how good he is. To be honest he maybe the best on the team but it is pretty good team only losing 1 game. I am also thinking of letting my younger one play in his age group and I can act as a parent for a while and instruct them for a while rather than coaching these kids.

[Karl]

He is not on the TEAM.
You said he does not want to pass...and hardly ever does so.

Does he like the other kids?
When away from the game does he have a sharing attitude or is he just wrapped up into his wants?

I would think somehow you have to show him the rewards and joy of sharing...the ball. Trust me if he leads in sharing and you emphasize it he will score even more gioals...as the others will appreciate his sharing and reciprocate. ...btw - That will go a long way in your building TEAM.

...nuff-nuff exercises (2s and 3s) near to goal...ending at goal...with each youngster alternating putting...passing the ball; into goal...will also help...

...5-a-side with you or another parent calling out John (this has the ball at start with 'John') ...call name of a youngster say - Tom ball passed to Tom by John...call another name - Bill - Tom passes to Bill...and so on moving the ball through the group/squad of 5....last pass to John...repeat...repeat...repeat.

Above can be done in many ways across the field - the entire group going across field left to right/right to left...allows for many groups to use field at same time....or rotating towards a goal in a 'circular' manner... tons more ways that allow your entire squad to be engaged simultaneously and moving of players from squad to squad (work out permutations to discourage small (5 number ) sociograms (you do not wish in a game any 5 passing only to "their 5" or developing an over dependence on "their 5"...you wish TEAM sensible sharing of the ball).

Encourage that sharing of the ball...

The above is just an example of what can be done. Sure you can and shall address the problem your son has in a way that has him learning TEAM without being aware of the lesson you are imparting...make it fun...and he (they shall learn - becomes conditioned reflex).

Respek!

[HL]

I have met both boys...and have seen the younger one dribbling the ball around......

At 5 and 4 they are not too young to learn the basics rules.

I guess it's a tough balancing act--being a soccer Dad and coach.

Looking forward to seeing them run out in the RED White and Blue...yes?

No need to be bashful now Assasin.

[Peter R]

Sass, you have a fine problem... if he can dribble and run through teams I WOULD ENCOURAGE that; the trick is teaching him that passing is also a part of the game... sit with him and show him what the big boys do(watch a Barca game with him ); no matter how talented he will meet his Waterloo if he does not ever want to pass.

If you are the coach and a situation arose where he definitely should have passed, and he does it again ( or does not do it again?) bench him... tough love... but let him know why. This is about him developing an awareness of other players on the team.

Run some passing drills where he will run into a defender (stage it).. you're probably doing it already.

Having said that you definitely want him to develop his dribbling skills, ability to run at players and "duss dem out"... I would not press the panic button as many kids his age think of football as a one-person game... he is just better than his peers at doing it.

I coach U8s so I know what you're going through; you may be more emotionally involved with the player, but never forget your coach's hat! he'll understand.

Good luck with your challenge.

[Peter R]

...and yes, you should let your younger one play among his peers so he has a greater chance to experience success. He could get discouraged playing against older boys (the difference between 4 & 6 is huge in physical development).

Good luck again!

[Karl]

Good advice.

We are saying the same thing...get the youngters to appreciate and 'love'/enjoy sharing of the ball. ...of course it is tied to the greater life skill of relations with your fellowman.

This thing of TEAM...relates to so many areas of life - bonding, loyalty, appreciating 'teammates' - contributiions of others, good behaviour...and on and on...and the great thing about being able to transfer such of your own 'tenet' is the kids are just having fun as these strong life skills seep in.

[Farmah]

Hail up mi idren! Nice problem, and a fixable one too. Listen the the advice of the forum; they are good ones. I coached my son in an optimist team back in the mid to late 90's and experienced that "star baller complex" briefly from him. I sat him down and spoke to him at length about his importance to the team and within the team's concept. That worked, and he changed for the betterment of the team.

Keep up the good job Sass.

Bless.

[Peter R]

Karl,
I like that "name-calling" drill. I have seen it but never did used it myself... I will use it Tuesday with my 7&8 yr olds.. will let you know how it goes.

[Assasin]

Thanks forumites. yesterday I had a two games and we tie one and lost one. We could have won both but I deliberately took some of the better players out of the game. My big son played for a little as he had fallen on his knee in school the day before and had to sit out to watch as it began hurting him.

He had to watch his teammates destroying a team in the second half. After the game the other coach spoke to one of my player about sportmanship. I didn't hear the kid but after they scored about 8 goals he was saying bad things about the other team. Right now the team has gotten so good I am surprise. I told my son, "you see your team is very good" and he agreed that it was.

While some of the other coaches spent times on things like position and concept I spend it more on expression and playing. I spend a lot of time on shooting, and dribbling. They are now putting a few passes together and that is great but I don't want the kid to just stand in the game for half the time. I teach them defence and offence rather than position so they know when to run forward and when to run back. I don't limit them to wing or wingback for now cause I want them all included and to find a natural spot.

I never thought I would find a natural center half at that age but I have one. He reads the game so well and tackle very good. The little one had his best game yesterday and he told his mommy "I played very good today".

thanks again I have a few more practise session and will try and work some team ball but I also don't want him to give up the ability to dribble around players.

[Karl]

I shall be looking out.

Hope it works for you...am sure it will.

[Karl]

You are bang on never try to cut out ability to beat - one-on-one.

[Gamma]

it is a tough act.

my son calls me coach when we are on the field.

i remember in one u12 game, we were up 3-1 and my son plays [defensive] midfield [for the u9 he is more attacking] anyway, i overheard one parent complaining loudly how i always keep in my son yadda yadda yadda (my son heard too)... i decided to use that as a teachable moment so i pulled him and within 5 minutes the score was 3-3.

we went on to tie the game 4-4 but my point was made and i have never heard another PEEP about my decisions ... of course my son asked me why i pulled him, and my response was perhaps not PC, but i said "to show them how much they need you to do the job i put you in there to do.".

it's tough ... but for the love of the game....

[Gamma]

I never thought I would find a natural center half at that age but I have one. He reads the game so well and tackle very good.

same here boss! and when he wis the ball he doesn't kick it away he always tries to make a constructive pass