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Massive just wanted to announce that the Fantasy League is now officially over.
This week I have moved to my rightful position of first place and just like PHENOM Freddy Adu once I get out in front there is no looking back. Now we can continue this charade and have you guys fiddle around to see who gets 2nd or we can do the humane thing and call an end to this cyber massacre and allow you guys to save some face.
I mean seriously, how do you guys expect to beat me? I am simply too good for you. It’s like Usain vs. Big Shirley from What’s Happening in a foot race or Big Shirley vs. Usain in a hamburger eating contest. You guys are simply outclassed.
I am trying to be measured here but if I don’t have your unconditional surrender by 11:59 pm this evening I will be forced to kill each and everyone of your fantasy league teams without apology. I am not a violent manager by nature but jah know if unno don’t come correct in the next few hours is pure fantasy killing mi a deal wid. From Paul Marin all the way down to that disgrace of a human being Gamma I expect your full cooperation. As Robocop once said dead or alive your fantasy league teams are coming with me! So what is it fantasy leaguers? The bible or the Freddy?
Now that I have addressed each of you collectively I feel the need to speak to each of you losers individually………..
Pathetic Paul Marin you idiot!…..damn homie…back in high school you were the man homie (Fifty Cent 3:16)….For the first half of the season you ruled the league with an iron fist. Then you drap off for awhile and come back and was top of the league again last week. So what happened to you this week? You could not handle the responsibility of first place? You see everyone wants to be “The Man” but not everyone has the necessary testosterone to be the man. This league is about stamina and as I said before at your age you simply are too old to hold onto the top spot for any period of time. Now that Viagra gone up in price I see your league hopes going down the tubes. Not even Obama’s new healthcare plan can save you to rhatid. Karl make up the top bunk iyah….you’re getting a new roommate at Shady Pines.
Stupid Shola you moron! So after I called you the Bolton Wanderers of the fantasy league you turn around and try to embarrass me by actually being competitive. What the heck is that all about? Is it buck up or did you actually decide to man up and challenge for the title? Or is this just all part of your master plan to once again fall back comfortably to the middle and finish one above the regulation zone as your idols from Bolton have made a career of doing? You are the classic case of the indifferent teen. You lack direction, motivation and purpose. You’re just floating through the season with your head in the clouds with no real sense of responsibility. You don’t know if you’re coming or going. Well Shola now that I have you in my sights it is time for you to grow up. It is time for you to make it on your own. I want you to get your things and get the hell out of my house! I paid for this fantasy league and I will not have you in here disrespecting it with your crappy managing! Let’s see how you make it out there in the real world. I do this Shola not because I want to son but because I have to. As the father of the fantasy league it is my responsibility to prepare all my children for the real world. A world where my squad is kicking ass and taking names!
Jackass Jangle you damn cheater! My how the mighty have fallen. You owned the first two weeks of January. On top of the table laughing at those below you. But something suspect was going on. Every week you were getting record point tallies as the rest of us were struggling just to eat a food. To the objective observer it didn’t make any sense. “How is it that someone so dumb was able to run the table?” they would whisper. “How is it that Freddy who is so brilliant was floundering?” they would ask with puzzled looks on their faces. Then one day the proverbial stopped clock, X, had one of those rare moments of clarity that livafool fans have all too infrequently. He exposed the fact that you were a defrauding the league. Every week you would take points earned by myself or other fantasy leaguers and you’d quietly add them to your score. A 2 points here…a 3 points there….just enough to give you the edge…and just enough so as not to set off any alarm bells with the rest of us you were stealing from. It was a brilliant plan but with one inherent flaw. We all know that you know nothing about ball. So eventually you would be figured out . I normally don’t like to big up livafool people but X deserves nuff respect for bringing you and your cockroach self to the light. Now you scatter and fall from the top spot in the league. Jangle it is time for you to do the honorable thing and resign. If you don’t do this I maybe forced to impeach you and I don’t plan to do it through official channels if you get my drift. Like the New England Patriots you are now learning that cheaters never win….and winners never cheat.
Terrible Twan you flipping fool! Before the season started I had you pegged for my toughest competition. Now we all know that you can’t stop Freddy you can only hope to contain him but I felt that you and your 11 man behind the ball tactics might cause me some problems even though I would come out victorious in the end. Well not only can you not score goals but you also can’t defend either. For all intent and purposes you are simply taking up space. You are the third wheel of the fantasy league. Never the bride always the bridesmaid. You are the fat girl who talks to me in the club when all I want to do is talk to her sexy friend. Why can’t you just go away and leave us alone? Join Jenny Craig and try again next year. Maybe by then you will learn how to manage a fantasy league team.
X-tra Dumb you complete Fraud! So it is fully clear that the likkle scam you and Paul Marin tried to pull on the league failed miserably! No need to rehash and open old wounds but I’ll do it anyway. You and Paul thought it would be wise for you to join the league 2 weeks late. You thought by doing that you could see who was in form vs. who was not and pick the squad accordingly. In the meantime Paul would distract the rest of us from the plan by acting like his normal juvenile self egging us on in a war of words while you hid in the shadows and collected data for your entry to the league. Then you would show up like a hurricane and blow our zinc shacks down to the ground. Unfortunately for you, you did not quite understand what F.I.G.U really meant. You failed to realize that Freddy Is God United was not just some name of a fantasy league team but in reality he is YOUR god. So when you failed to kneel at the alter of the PHENOM and pray for forgiveness he had to punish with you with low point totals and the complete implosion of Liverpool. You failed to realize that when you and Paul Marin decided on your now discredited plan that without the blessing of the PHENOM it was always destined to fail. On one hand I want to give you your props for making such a strong move to mid table but on the other hand you’re only ahead of Gamma. What does that mean really? It only means that you have a pulse.
Geriatric Gamma you impotent imp! What the frak is wrong with you man? From week one you have been the worst player in the league. Not once have you challenged for anything. Not even 2nd to last place! Is it possible for someone to be this bad? I mean you really have to work hard to put together such a disgrace of a record. It hurts me to speak of you this way because you used to be my idol. You were the one I looked up to…..and now to learn that the Gamma has no clothes? I know everyone can remember the first time that they realized that their parents were not perfect. For the young child it can be traumatic to learn that dad doesn’t have all the answers or always make the right decisions. Eventually we learn to forgive and appreciate the complexity of the decisions a parent has to make on our behalf as we grow up. I try to forgive you Gamma but every time I think of the f-ery that is Per Curiam my blood boils and I feel like calling social services to arrest you for child abuse! You have not only locked your fantasy league team in the closet with no food, water or bathroom facilities but you have beaten him senseless with an exposed extension cord still plugged into the socket. You sir are an abuser of the worst kind. One who preys on the most vulnerable of us. I just hope one day Per Curiam can get the psychological help he needs to heal the emotional scars you have left behind. Those will remain far after the physical ones heal. Gamma if you wanted your child back from social services and all you had to do was pass one team between now and the end of the season would you do it? Do you love Per Curiam enough to get yourself together and pass a single fantasy leaguer in the standings? If you love him demonstrate it with actions Gamma. I know you can be a good father again. Just one fantasy leaguer Gamma. Is your family worth the effort?
Fantastic Freddy you embodiment of perfection! Not only are you first place in the league but you are the best looking manager to boot! The ladies love you, the press thinks you’re brilliant and the rest of the fantasy leaguers are jealous of you. You have not set a foot wrong all season and are the prototype of the modern manager. Time Magazine named you their Person of the Year and Barack said that you were the change we could believe in. You have consistently beaten the odds with a style and grace that is only eclipsed by your overall greatness. I only wished that the rest of the fantasy league could demonstrate half the class and humility you exhibit week in and week out. Without you there is no fantasy league. Without you there is no reason to live. Good bless the Queen and God bless Freddy.
This weekend I plan to put you guys in my rear view mirror for good. So either concede the league by 11:59 pm tonight or is double dose a crosses fi unno! I am taking no prisoners this time around. Just execution mi a deal wid now. – T.K.
This week I have moved to my rightful position of first place and just like PHENOM Freddy Adu once I get out in front there is no looking back. Now we can continue this charade and have you guys fiddle around to see who gets 2nd or we can do the humane thing and call an end to this cyber massacre and allow you guys to save some face.
I mean seriously, how do you guys expect to beat me? I am simply too good for you. It’s like Usain vs. Big Shirley from What’s Happening in a foot race or Big Shirley vs. Usain in a hamburger eating contest. You guys are simply outclassed.
I am trying to be measured here but if I don’t have your unconditional surrender by 11:59 pm this evening I will be forced to kill each and everyone of your fantasy league teams without apology. I am not a violent manager by nature but jah know if unno don’t come correct in the next few hours is pure fantasy killing mi a deal wid. From Paul Marin all the way down to that disgrace of a human being Gamma I expect your full cooperation. As Robocop once said dead or alive your fantasy league teams are coming with me! So what is it fantasy leaguers? The bible or the Freddy?
Now that I have addressed each of you collectively I feel the need to speak to each of you losers individually………..
Pathetic Paul Marin you idiot!…..damn homie…back in high school you were the man homie (Fifty Cent 3:16)….For the first half of the season you ruled the league with an iron fist. Then you drap off for awhile and come back and was top of the league again last week. So what happened to you this week? You could not handle the responsibility of first place? You see everyone wants to be “The Man” but not everyone has the necessary testosterone to be the man. This league is about stamina and as I said before at your age you simply are too old to hold onto the top spot for any period of time. Now that Viagra gone up in price I see your league hopes going down the tubes. Not even Obama’s new healthcare plan can save you to rhatid. Karl make up the top bunk iyah….you’re getting a new roommate at Shady Pines.
Stupid Shola you moron! So after I called you the Bolton Wanderers of the fantasy league you turn around and try to embarrass me by actually being competitive. What the heck is that all about? Is it buck up or did you actually decide to man up and challenge for the title? Or is this just all part of your master plan to once again fall back comfortably to the middle and finish one above the regulation zone as your idols from Bolton have made a career of doing? You are the classic case of the indifferent teen. You lack direction, motivation and purpose. You’re just floating through the season with your head in the clouds with no real sense of responsibility. You don’t know if you’re coming or going. Well Shola now that I have you in my sights it is time for you to grow up. It is time for you to make it on your own. I want you to get your things and get the hell out of my house! I paid for this fantasy league and I will not have you in here disrespecting it with your crappy managing! Let’s see how you make it out there in the real world. I do this Shola not because I want to son but because I have to. As the father of the fantasy league it is my responsibility to prepare all my children for the real world. A world where my squad is kicking ass and taking names!
Jackass Jangle you damn cheater! My how the mighty have fallen. You owned the first two weeks of January. On top of the table laughing at those below you. But something suspect was going on. Every week you were getting record point tallies as the rest of us were struggling just to eat a food. To the objective observer it didn’t make any sense. “How is it that someone so dumb was able to run the table?” they would whisper. “How is it that Freddy who is so brilliant was floundering?” they would ask with puzzled looks on their faces. Then one day the proverbial stopped clock, X, had one of those rare moments of clarity that livafool fans have all too infrequently. He exposed the fact that you were a defrauding the league. Every week you would take points earned by myself or other fantasy leaguers and you’d quietly add them to your score. A 2 points here…a 3 points there….just enough to give you the edge…and just enough so as not to set off any alarm bells with the rest of us you were stealing from. It was a brilliant plan but with one inherent flaw. We all know that you know nothing about ball. So eventually you would be figured out . I normally don’t like to big up livafool people but X deserves nuff respect for bringing you and your cockroach self to the light. Now you scatter and fall from the top spot in the league. Jangle it is time for you to do the honorable thing and resign. If you don’t do this I maybe forced to impeach you and I don’t plan to do it through official channels if you get my drift. Like the New England Patriots you are now learning that cheaters never win….and winners never cheat.
Terrible Twan you flipping fool! Before the season started I had you pegged for my toughest competition. Now we all know that you can’t stop Freddy you can only hope to contain him but I felt that you and your 11 man behind the ball tactics might cause me some problems even though I would come out victorious in the end. Well not only can you not score goals but you also can’t defend either. For all intent and purposes you are simply taking up space. You are the third wheel of the fantasy league. Never the bride always the bridesmaid. You are the fat girl who talks to me in the club when all I want to do is talk to her sexy friend. Why can’t you just go away and leave us alone? Join Jenny Craig and try again next year. Maybe by then you will learn how to manage a fantasy league team.
X-tra Dumb you complete Fraud! So it is fully clear that the likkle scam you and Paul Marin tried to pull on the league failed miserably! No need to rehash and open old wounds but I’ll do it anyway. You and Paul thought it would be wise for you to join the league 2 weeks late. You thought by doing that you could see who was in form vs. who was not and pick the squad accordingly. In the meantime Paul would distract the rest of us from the plan by acting like his normal juvenile self egging us on in a war of words while you hid in the shadows and collected data for your entry to the league. Then you would show up like a hurricane and blow our zinc shacks down to the ground. Unfortunately for you, you did not quite understand what F.I.G.U really meant. You failed to realize that Freddy Is God United was not just some name of a fantasy league team but in reality he is YOUR god. So when you failed to kneel at the alter of the PHENOM and pray for forgiveness he had to punish with you with low point totals and the complete implosion of Liverpool. You failed to realize that when you and Paul Marin decided on your now discredited plan that without the blessing of the PHENOM it was always destined to fail. On one hand I want to give you your props for making such a strong move to mid table but on the other hand you’re only ahead of Gamma. What does that mean really? It only means that you have a pulse.
Geriatric Gamma you impotent imp! What the frak is wrong with you man? From week one you have been the worst player in the league. Not once have you challenged for anything. Not even 2nd to last place! Is it possible for someone to be this bad? I mean you really have to work hard to put together such a disgrace of a record. It hurts me to speak of you this way because you used to be my idol. You were the one I looked up to…..and now to learn that the Gamma has no clothes? I know everyone can remember the first time that they realized that their parents were not perfect. For the young child it can be traumatic to learn that dad doesn’t have all the answers or always make the right decisions. Eventually we learn to forgive and appreciate the complexity of the decisions a parent has to make on our behalf as we grow up. I try to forgive you Gamma but every time I think of the f-ery that is Per Curiam my blood boils and I feel like calling social services to arrest you for child abuse! You have not only locked your fantasy league team in the closet with no food, water or bathroom facilities but you have beaten him senseless with an exposed extension cord still plugged into the socket. You sir are an abuser of the worst kind. One who preys on the most vulnerable of us. I just hope one day Per Curiam can get the psychological help he needs to heal the emotional scars you have left behind. Those will remain far after the physical ones heal. Gamma if you wanted your child back from social services and all you had to do was pass one team between now and the end of the season would you do it? Do you love Per Curiam enough to get yourself together and pass a single fantasy leaguer in the standings? If you love him demonstrate it with actions Gamma. I know you can be a good father again. Just one fantasy leaguer Gamma. Is your family worth the effort?
Fantastic Freddy you embodiment of perfection! Not only are you first place in the league but you are the best looking manager to boot! The ladies love you, the press thinks you’re brilliant and the rest of the fantasy leaguers are jealous of you. You have not set a foot wrong all season and are the prototype of the modern manager. Time Magazine named you their Person of the Year and Barack said that you were the change we could believe in. You have consistently beaten the odds with a style and grace that is only eclipsed by your overall greatness. I only wished that the rest of the fantasy league could demonstrate half the class and humility you exhibit week in and week out. Without you there is no fantasy league. Without you there is no reason to live. Good bless the Queen and God bless Freddy.
This weekend I plan to put you guys in my rear view mirror for good. So either concede the league by 11:59 pm tonight or is double dose a crosses fi unno! I am taking no prisoners this time around. Just execution mi a deal wid now. – T.K.
- T.K.
Paul Marin -19 is one thing, 20 is a whole other matter. It gets even worse if they win the UCL. *groan*. 
05/18/2011.MU fans naah cough, but all a unuh a vomit?-Lazie 1/11/2015
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