Jangle, write this week report nuh!?

[Paul Marin]

Mi deh a Englan' an' have nuff wuk a bite mi enna mi rarseclart...

[T.K.]

Mi deh a Englan' an' have nuff wuk a bite mi enna mi rarseclart...

Jangle nah go write a damn ting! De man is in hiding. Is embarass him embarass himself inna de people dem league this week. It look like we haffi wait till you come back from farin' fi anedda report. Until then would you and the rest of the fantasy leaguers please join me in laughing at Jangle who will from this day forward be known as Per Curiam jr. Thank you.

AH-HAHAHAHAHAHA-AH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-AH-HAHAHAHAAHAHA-HAHAHAHAHAHAH-WOOOIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAHAHAHAHA-AHAHAHAHAHAHA-LOL-LOL-LOL CHUCKLE-CHUCKLE-CHUCKLE-CHUCKLE HO-HO-HO-HOOOOOOOO HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ah bwoy.....pay back is a bi-otch! - T.K.

[Paul Marin]

Bwoy T.K. - yu wikid. Di poor bwoy probably a bawl inna di corner an' yu a rub salt in di wound.

[T.K.]

Bwoy T.K. - yu wikid. Di poor bwoy probably a bawl inna di corner an' yu a rub salt in di wound.

But wait....Paul yu nuh see how de BWOY ruff mi up de odda day?

Can't I at least enjoy the next two weeks I have being ahead of Jangle in the standings? If not now then when? I know come next round Jangle will pass me again so at the very least I should be allowed to verbally BOX the man while I still can.

On another note why haven't we kicked Gamma out of the league yet? Seriously he is an absolute disgrace to all things fantasy. At first I laughed at him....then I felt sorry for him.....now I feel complete disgust and contempt for the man everytime I see his fool fool side Per Curiam at the bottom of the standings. I think we need to have an emergency Harbour Sharks meeting and vote on the status of Gamma's membership in the league.

On another note pt2....Twan has lost the plot hasn't he? He is dropping like a stone. We haven't seen ratings this low since Aunt Esther's sex tape hit the internet. The man had nuff chat a few weeks ago now is like him nuh know nobody again. I guess if I was as pathetic as his squad I would run hide in shame as well. Him should change his name from Twan to Gwan because him team done gwan from the title race.

On another pt 3.....I am on to Shola's game. He thinks by keeping a low profile that he will avoid my scorn and sneak up on us when we least expect it. The truth is I figured him out from long time. Mediocre is his middle name and finishing mid-table is his game. You know he is the Bolton Wanderers of the fantasy league. We all pull for him because he is so in over his head but in the end we know they'll do just well enough to avoid the relegation zone and nothing else. Shola is a non-entity yah. In the Fantasy League yearbook he was voted most boring by his peers.

On my final note I would like to give a big shout out to my good friend X. You have to give the man credit he is trying his darndest. He came into the league like a man on a mission. Grabbing points left and right and center. Then reality hit him like a sledgehammer and took his damn head off! Once he realized that his knowledge of ball was limited at best he started begging for points with a SOB story . First the man didn't want any points. Then him want 10 points. Now him want 20 points. Who knows how many points he will beg for come next week when him drop to 2nd to last place (last place is reserved for Gamma). X was the little engine that could....now he is the little engine that can't. The man has been exposed for the fraud that he is. X you get NO points from me! Next!

And for my final final note....I won't even address your disrespectful team name Paul Marin. For that alone you should have been expelled from the league. Luckily for you while Jangle nuh know ball he knows forgiveness and let you into the league out of the kindness of his heart. how do you repay the man?

You zoomed to the top of the table with nary a glance back at the pack. Now it was clear to all of us that since you lack the stamina and sophistication to manage a team over the course of a season that you would try and push the pace early in the season to try and cover for your shortcomings. (and I do mean SHORTcomings)

You thought you could trick the rest of us to play your E.D. game (if you have to ask then you're too young to know!). But we had one thing you didn't Paul and that was youth. We knew we could start out slow and reserve some energy for the back stretch as our stamina was greater than yours.

So now we are all beginning to see the cracks in your strategy Mr. Marin as the pack has closed the gap and you are now in shooting distance of everybody.

You have wasted all your energy in the first couple of months and it is clear to everyone that you have nothing left to give old man!

Fall Marin...that's right I said it.....FALL Marin your days at the top are numbered. As a lion pride needs new adult male lions to take over every few years to keep the family strong so will the fantasy leaguers. A new younger lion is coming for your throne his name is Freddy is God United! Be afraid Paul be very afraid.

Fall Marin yu days done iyah!

I think that about covers my take on you losers. - T.K.

[Shola]

Harbour Sharks League
Player Name Message Points
1. Slurgie's Nightmare Paul Marin 500
2. ReggaeArsenal george freeman 489
2. Freddy is God United Forumite TK 489
4. Jangle United * John Jarvis 477
5. nhor burgundy's XI Rohn Rainford 461
6. LightBluesFC Antoine McKenzie 458
7. Gooner Hill F.C Shaun Akinsola 447
8. Christ Church F.C. Kevin Ramsay 427
9. tantos c-bar Patrick phillips 422
9. Chelsea Lions Robert Harvey 422
11. LiverpoolXXX kyle wallace 416
12. per curiam Rickie Davis 360
13. Citation FC Brian Thompson 80

Just a reminder of the league standings, it seems as if some ppl are deluded by their position in the league. Poor soul!

Me deh inna striking distance. Heading for the top.

[T.K.]

Shola where is your team again? I can't see your team ranking from all the way up where I am. Hold on...mek mi grab mi binoculars dem and see if mi can spy yu all the way down there. I might need the Hubble Telescope for this one to rhatid. Does anyone have NASA's number? - T.K.

[Jangle]

Whoooooiiiiiiieeeeeee Man mek a likkle splurge whey him himself confess to nuh know nuttin bout and all of a sudden him tun parakeet to rhatid. A whey dis faada? TK nuh you 2 weeks ago me have fe drag outa the gutters and wash off, because you were so depressed at your pathetic team? Sarry fe mawga dawg and him turn round bite yuh. The man did ready fe go chuck off inna the sea and drown himself and me tek pity pon him. Now me stay way upstate NY and hear the man a laff. TK you will get no pity from me when I see Xcuse and Gamma pass your arse come end of season.

[Jangle]

Paul yuh see why me can't rate your coach Benitez. He is a lying sack of s hit. Yesterday I was gobsmacked to see Gerrard (the man who was so injured and required surgery) warming up on the sideline. That stinking SOB drove a stake through my heart when he scored the tiefing penalty. I left him out of my team last weekend....(I noticed you also went on a wholesale transfer binge...hehe... and sold him).

I was trying to coast through the week without anybody noticing, but like the worm that you are, you had to call me out. The only person lower than you in this league is TK. I soon think up a name for both of you.

[T.K.]

TK you will get no pity from me when I see Xcuse and Gamma pass your arse come end of season.

Woah...woah...woah....woah Jangle. You owe me an apology immediately. X passing me I can understand. But to say that Gamma will pass me? Well that is hitting below the belt bredren. I enjoy the little joking around and trash talk business as much as the next person but this time you went way across the line. No one deserves to be told that they will be passed by Gamma. I don't care what context you say it in...I don't care what that person has done to you it is never right to suggest to anyone at anytime that they are so bad....so pathetic....so weak as to allow Gamma to pass them. Jangle you are a good person at heart and I think when you take the time to think about what you said that you'll do the right thing and apologize for the slur you directed at me. - T.K.

[Jangle]

"Have you seen Jangle?"

Yuh cut me deep TK....yuh cut me deep... I'm here thinking that you would show me some gratitude for saving your life, but all I am getting is mockery from you....my fellow Empire soldier. Yuh cut me deeeeeepppp. I think YOU are the one that owes me an apology.

[T.K.]

"Have you seen Jangle?"

Yuh cut me deep TK....yuh cut me deep... I'm here thinking that you would show me some gratitude for saving your life, but all I am getting is mockery from you....my fellow Empire soldier. Yuh cut me deeeeeepppp. I think YOU are the one that owes me an apology.

Can't a man ask a simple question? I was just wondering if anyone had seen you. Anything wrong with that?

But seriously I think we all can agree that we should never invoke Gamma's name when arguing with one another about fantasy league. It is akin to a racial slur. - T.K.

[Jangle]

Gamma yuh gwine tek dat so?

[Paul Marin]

T.K. you need some verbal kaopectate...

But wait....Paul yu nuh see how de BWOY ruff mi up de odda day?

Can't I at least enjoy the next two weeks I have being ahead of Jangle in the standings? If not now then when? I know come next round Jangle will pass me again so at the very least I should be allowed to verbally BOX the man while I still can.

AGREED - BOX HIM UP!! DRAW HIM OUT!! TUMP HIM DOWN!!! BRUTE WID HIM BOSSEY 'MOUT!!!!

On another note why haven't we kicked Gamma out of the league yet?
GAMMA - I NOTICE YOU DON'T EVEN OFFER ONE *PEEP* IN SELF DEFENSE. THAT IS UNCONSCIONABLE. I FEAR THAT T.K. MAY JUST END UP GETTING YOU SUMMARILY REMOVED FROM THE LEAGUE. SHOW SOME BACK BONE NUH MAN!?

Seriously he is an absolute disgrace to all things fantasy. At first I laughed at him....then I felt sorry for him.....now I feel complete disgust and contempt for the man everytime I see his fool fool side Per Curiam at the bottom of the standings. I think we need to have an emergency Harbour Sharks meeting and vote on the status of Gamma's membership in the league.

On another note pt2....Twan has lost the plot hasn't he? He is dropping like a stone. We haven't seen ratings this low since Aunt Esther's sex tape hit the internet. The man had nuff chat a few weeks ago now is like him nuh know nobody again. I guess if I was as pathetic as his squad I would run hide in shame as well. Him should change his name from Twan to Gwan because him team done gwan from the title race.

FROM TIME MI CALL HIM TEAM 'LIGHTWEIGHT FC' BUT UNU NEVA LISTEN TO ME. POOR TING. HOPEFULLY HE WILL TURN HIS SEASON AROUND.

On another pt 3.....I am on to Shola's game. He thinks by keeping a low profile that he will avoid my scorn and sneak up on us when we least expect it. The truth is I figured him out from long time. Mediocre is his middle name and finishing mid-table is his game. You know he is the Bolton Wanderers of the fantasy league. We all pull for him because he is so in over his head but in the end we know they'll do just well enough to avoid the relegation zone and nothing else. Shola is a non-entity yah. In the Fantasy League yearbook he was voted most boring by his peers.

HARD TO ARGUE FOR YOU HERE SHOLA; FIGHT THIS ONE FI U-SELF.

On my final note I would like to give a big shout out to my good friend X. You have to give the man credit he is trying his darndest. He came into the league like a man on a mission. Grabbing points left and right and center. Then reality hit him like a sledgehammer and took his damn head off! Once he realized that his knowledge of ball was limited at best he started begging for points with a SOB story. First the man didn't want any points. Then him want 10 points. Now him want 20 points. Who knows how many points he will beg for come next week when him drop to 2nd to last place (last place is reserved for Gamma). X was the little engine that could....now he is the little engine that can't. The man has been exposed for the fraud that he is. X you get NO points from me! Next!

NOW YOU ARE CROSSING THE LINE. ANY MORE DISRESPEC' FOR X AND I WILL USE MY CONTACTS TO ENSURE THAT YOU DO NOT GET ONE MORE POINT FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR. DON'T ASK ME HOW...JUST DON'T TEST ME!!!

And for my final final note....I won't even address your disrespectful team name Paul Marin. For that alone you should have been expelled from the league. Luckily for you while Jangle nuh know ball he knows forgiveness and let you into the league out of the kindness of his heart. how do you repay the man?

SOME THINGS ARE OBVIOUS AND NEED NOT BE SAID. JANGLE HAS A REAL PROBLEM BECAUSE HE HAS USED UP TOO MANY TRANSFERS TO GET WHERE HE IS AT THIS STAGE OF THE SEASON. NOW, INJURIES WILL SET IN; INDECISION WILL MAKE HIM SECOND GUESS...HIS PALMS WILL SWEAT...HIS LIPS WILL QUIVER...HIS BROW WILL FURROW...HE WILL SADLY...SELF-DESTRUCT...POOR TING.

You zoomed to the top of the table with nary a glance back at the pack.

Now it was clear to all of us that since you lack the stamina and sophistication to manage a team over the course of a season

THAT'S NOT WHAT RIHANNA SAID...SHE TOLD ME THAT WAS THE BEST 30 SECONDS OF HER LIFE...YOU TINK SHE LIE?

that you would try and push the pace early in the season to try and cover for your shortcomings. (and I do mean SHORTcomings)

RIHANNA NEVA' SEH DAT EEDA...QUITE THE OPPOSITE ACTUALLY

You thought you could trick the rest of us to play your E.D. game (if you have to ask then you're too young to know!).

I GUESS I'M TOO YOUNG...

But we had one thing you didn't Paul and that was youth. We knew we could start out slow and reserve some energy for the back stretch as our stamina was greater than yours.

WAIT A MINUTE!!!! I GUESS I'M TOO OLD

So now we are all beginning to see the cracks in your strategy Mr. Marin as the pack has closed the gap and you are now in shooting distance of everybody.

BEING THAT I'M STILL AT THE TOP OF THE TABLE...I THINK THE ONLY CRACK YOU ARE SEEING IS MY BUTT CRACK :D

You have wasted all your energy in the first couple of months and it is clear to everyone that you have nothing left to give old man!


Fall Marin...that's right I said it.....FALL Marin your days at the top are numbered. As a lion pride needs new adult male lions to take over every few years to keep the family strong so will the fantasy leaguers. A new younger lion is coming for your throne his name is Freddy is God United! Be afraid Paul be very afraid.

Fall Marin yu days done iyah!

YOU YOUNGSTERS SEEM TO FORGET THAT WHAT WE OLD FOLK HAVE THAT YOU DON'T IS WISDOM, EXPERIENCE, PATIENCE. HOW ELSE DO I GET A GIRLFRIEND LIKE RIHANNA WHILE YOU GET AUNT ESTHER? YOU WILL SUFFER THE SAME FATE AS JANGLE AND ANY OTHERS THAT ARE QUICK TO RUN THEIR MOUTHS. I REMIND YOU OF HIS EXCITEMENT WHEN HE CAME WITHIN 4 POINTS...RUNNING TO HIS SHAREHOLDERS AS IF HE HAD CONQUERED ALL...ALAS...LOOK AT THE POOR LAD NOW. LOOK CAREFULLY...FOR HIS FATE...IS YOURS!!!

HA HA HA HA HA BO HAA HAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAA....BOOOOOOO HHHHHAAAAA...

I think that about covers my take on you losers. - T.K.

[Paul Marin]

Jangle, you are showing your naivite, youth and lack of experience to show anger at Benitez. Whhen since you listen to coaches and their stories?

You youngsters don't understand how the ebb and flow of a season goes. Right now, everyone's challenge will be dealing with injuries. Make sure my little grasshopper, that your team is stacked with "men of steel" come december.

You may get very lucky as you have Torres, and come January, Liverpool, (to your advantage), will fall out of the Champions League. When they do, make sure you pay attention to the change in the league dynamic and act accordingly.

You have been counseled, you have been warned. Choose wisdom grasshopper...chose wisdom. Failing that, pray

Paul "Sensi" Marin

[Paul Marin]

Gamma yuh gwine tek dat so?

Gamma is a disgrace. Vex wid him. We should ban him from the boards all together and strip him of his Jamaican heritage. I think he is an Inuit masquerading as a ya'd man. Disgraceful.