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Harbour Sharks – Rough and Ready? Or Rough and Tumble?
November 1, 2009 (AP) Well sports fans, anyone who doubts that the Harbour Sharks league is the best in the business need only look at the last few weeks standings to see that life with the big boys “ain’t for the weak at heart”. League leaders Slurgie’s Nightmare (464 points/46 earned this weekend) saw the the rest of the pack close the gap significantly, with Jangle United (460/58) sniffing at the heels of Paul Marin’s league leading side. The two teams are now separated by a razor thin 4 points...virtually a dead heat in the world of Fantasy Football.
The weekend’s best performer however, was TK’s Freddy is God United (445/65) who had a whopping 65 point return on their weekend’s efforts and were rewarded by a 3 place jump in the standings from sixth position to third, only 19 points off the lead. Another notable change was Nhor Burgundy XI’s (437/42) continued decline, shifting down a spot to fourth place, tied on points with Reggae Arsenal (437/43) while Twan McKenzie’s LightBlue’s FC (430/39) also slipped from fifth to sixth with a less than adequate 39 point showing.
When reached for comment, Manager Twan of LightbluesFC was very upbeat. “Listen, you reporters go on as if we are doomed each week. I have told my players and my management team what I am expecting of them and I know they are good for it. We had some injury problems this week that made it tough, but we’re only 34 points behind the lead, which any experienced manager will tell you is only a hare’s breath away from ultimate success.” The manager’s optimism however, was tempered by the fans who complain that sixth spot in the table and a paltry 39 point performance at the weekend was “not good enough” for a club with their great history.
The rest of the table remained unchanged, with Shola’s Gooner Hill FC (418/48) turning in a respectable 48 point return for the weekend, which, while matching the output of league leader’s Slurgie’s Nightmare, it is not enough to keep pace with the blistering standard set by Jangle United and TK’s Freddy is God United.
The bottom of the table continues to be anchored by Per Curiam (314/37) a staggering 150 points off the league leaders and a solid 54 points from safety. We are still unable to locate Per Curiam’s manager Gamma for comment but we were able to reach Jangle (manager of Jangle United) for his thoughts on his team’s outstanding performance this week.
“Yuh notice seh from mawning nobaddy can't find [Slurgie’s Nightmare] Paul Marin? For the past month or so, every Monday morning bright and early him holdin’ press conference.....tiday........no where to be found. I wonder if him alright? Last week he was on cloud nine, ha ha ha...take a look at the current standings. Jangle United is 4 points behind the leader. In fantasy league, this is like 1 point. Didn’t I tell you!? Didn’t I!!!?”
But before Jangle can count his chickens, manager Shola of Gooner Hill FC was quick to point out “Jangle a gwan like him win di league awready, ah come tell me bout ‘nuttin nah happen fi Gooner Hill’ wid him renk an facetiness...summady tell him seh dis is a marathon, not a sprint. We are only 40-something points off the lead with 27 rounds to go...him figet dat was close to the difference about between him and Slurgie’s Nightmare only 2 weeks ago...now him get mi vex...we ago KILL DEM wid ball!!!”
All eyes of course are on the much publicised recent antics of Paul Marin, manager of Slurgie’s Nightmare. The personal life of Mr. Marin has become the subject of much scrutiny. A few weeks ago, he lived a quiet suburban lifestyle with beautiful family and notable involvement in the community. He has recently dashed that all away to be found hob-knobbing with his new 21 year old girlfriend, pop star Rihanna. Fans are not impressed.
“This is unacceptable,” stated Mo, President of the SN Supporterz club, “We are the greatest team in the history of Harbour Sharks League and the manager is throwing it all away, first his family, now our club. We’re not about to stand by and watch that happen, especially to the likes of Jangle United and those useless muppets Freddy is God United!!! We think that it is an embarrassment for a middle-aged, overweight, balding man to be running around with a woman young enough to almost be his grand daughter.”
The fans outcry was met with a flippant but measured response from Mr. Marin who has notably traded in his off the rack suits from Sears for top of the line Armanis. “Fans have to understand that this is a marathon, not a sprint,” said Mr. Marin as he puffed on a cigar known as “The Freak” from his favourite supplier Alec Bradley. "The team has been performing well and were it not for a few injuries in the squad, we’d be way ahead.” Asked if his new playboy lifestyle was affecting the team’s performance, the manager was quick to quip “Not at all...we’ll be back, you’ll see...it will be tight...it will be rough...but we’re ready.” Yes Mr. Marin - it will be rough, but will it be rough and ready? Or rough and tumble? Puff, puff.
The standings at the end of week 11.
Team Name Pts
Slurgie's Nightmare Paul Marin 464
Jangle United * John Jarvis 460
Freddy is God United Forumite TK 445
nhor burgundy's XI Rohn Rainford 437
ReggaeArsenal george freeman 437
LightBluesFC Twan 430
Gooner Hill F.C Shola 418
Christ Church F.C. Kevin Ramsay 403
tantos c-bar Patrick phillips 378
LiverpoolXXX X 371
Chelsea Lions Robert Harvey 367
per curiam Rickie Davis 314
November 1, 2009 (AP) Well sports fans, anyone who doubts that the Harbour Sharks league is the best in the business need only look at the last few weeks standings to see that life with the big boys “ain’t for the weak at heart”. League leaders Slurgie’s Nightmare (464 points/46 earned this weekend) saw the the rest of the pack close the gap significantly, with Jangle United (460/58) sniffing at the heels of Paul Marin’s league leading side. The two teams are now separated by a razor thin 4 points...virtually a dead heat in the world of Fantasy Football.
The weekend’s best performer however, was TK’s Freddy is God United (445/65) who had a whopping 65 point return on their weekend’s efforts and were rewarded by a 3 place jump in the standings from sixth position to third, only 19 points off the lead. Another notable change was Nhor Burgundy XI’s (437/42) continued decline, shifting down a spot to fourth place, tied on points with Reggae Arsenal (437/43) while Twan McKenzie’s LightBlue’s FC (430/39) also slipped from fifth to sixth with a less than adequate 39 point showing.
When reached for comment, Manager Twan of LightbluesFC was very upbeat. “Listen, you reporters go on as if we are doomed each week. I have told my players and my management team what I am expecting of them and I know they are good for it. We had some injury problems this week that made it tough, but we’re only 34 points behind the lead, which any experienced manager will tell you is only a hare’s breath away from ultimate success.” The manager’s optimism however, was tempered by the fans who complain that sixth spot in the table and a paltry 39 point performance at the weekend was “not good enough” for a club with their great history.
The rest of the table remained unchanged, with Shola’s Gooner Hill FC (418/48) turning in a respectable 48 point return for the weekend, which, while matching the output of league leader’s Slurgie’s Nightmare, it is not enough to keep pace with the blistering standard set by Jangle United and TK’s Freddy is God United.
The bottom of the table continues to be anchored by Per Curiam (314/37) a staggering 150 points off the league leaders and a solid 54 points from safety. We are still unable to locate Per Curiam’s manager Gamma for comment but we were able to reach Jangle (manager of Jangle United) for his thoughts on his team’s outstanding performance this week.
“Yuh notice seh from mawning nobaddy can't find [Slurgie’s Nightmare] Paul Marin? For the past month or so, every Monday morning bright and early him holdin’ press conference.....tiday........no where to be found. I wonder if him alright? Last week he was on cloud nine, ha ha ha...take a look at the current standings. Jangle United is 4 points behind the leader. In fantasy league, this is like 1 point. Didn’t I tell you!? Didn’t I!!!?”
But before Jangle can count his chickens, manager Shola of Gooner Hill FC was quick to point out “Jangle a gwan like him win di league awready, ah come tell me bout ‘nuttin nah happen fi Gooner Hill’ wid him renk an facetiness...summady tell him seh dis is a marathon, not a sprint. We are only 40-something points off the lead with 27 rounds to go...him figet dat was close to the difference about between him and Slurgie’s Nightmare only 2 weeks ago...now him get mi vex...we ago KILL DEM wid ball!!!”
All eyes of course are on the much publicised recent antics of Paul Marin, manager of Slurgie’s Nightmare. The personal life of Mr. Marin has become the subject of much scrutiny. A few weeks ago, he lived a quiet suburban lifestyle with beautiful family and notable involvement in the community. He has recently dashed that all away to be found hob-knobbing with his new 21 year old girlfriend, pop star Rihanna. Fans are not impressed.
“This is unacceptable,” stated Mo, President of the SN Supporterz club, “We are the greatest team in the history of Harbour Sharks League and the manager is throwing it all away, first his family, now our club. We’re not about to stand by and watch that happen, especially to the likes of Jangle United and those useless muppets Freddy is God United!!! We think that it is an embarrassment for a middle-aged, overweight, balding man to be running around with a woman young enough to almost be his grand daughter.”
The fans outcry was met with a flippant but measured response from Mr. Marin who has notably traded in his off the rack suits from Sears for top of the line Armanis. “Fans have to understand that this is a marathon, not a sprint,” said Mr. Marin as he puffed on a cigar known as “The Freak” from his favourite supplier Alec Bradley. "The team has been performing well and were it not for a few injuries in the squad, we’d be way ahead.” Asked if his new playboy lifestyle was affecting the team’s performance, the manager was quick to quip “Not at all...we’ll be back, you’ll see...it will be tight...it will be rough...but we’re ready.” Yes Mr. Marin - it will be rough, but will it be rough and ready? Or rough and tumble? Puff, puff.
The standings at the end of week 11.
Team Name Pts
Slurgie's Nightmare Paul Marin 464
Jangle United * John Jarvis 460
Freddy is God United Forumite TK 445
nhor burgundy's XI Rohn Rainford 437
ReggaeArsenal george freeman 437
LightBluesFC Twan 430
Gooner Hill F.C Shola 418
Christ Church F.C. Kevin Ramsay 403
tantos c-bar Patrick phillips 378
LiverpoolXXX X 371
Chelsea Lions Robert Harvey 367
per curiam Rickie Davis 314
Paul Marin -19 is one thing, 20 is a whole other matter. It gets even worse if they win the UCL. *groan*. 
05/18/2011.MU fans naah cough, but all a unuh a vomit?-Lazie 1/11/2015
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