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  • Exile asked for it now you've got it!

    Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the first RBSC Forum Awards show. (applause)

    We have had a memorable 2007 but now is the time we have all been waiting for. Please join me in welcoming our host……..Forumite T.K…….(applause)

    Yes yes…..never fear I am here…..Even though the writers strike threatened to cancel the show we were able to overcome the loss of our talented staff ….As we say in Hollywood…..The show must go on……..2007 was a memorable time for all of us here in Forumite Land. Liverfool, Fraudenal and the Red Cows continued to suck….Boxhill was given the boot with a box of patties as severance pay…..Shady Pines beefed up security after being threatened by JB to “gimme mi ******* money”…….playing our 10th game against Guatemala this year……..Sickko lying to the forum about Teafore…….Lazie and Ben finally getting a Labourite Government…..Mosiah finally getting his American citizenship……HL finally getting his Jamaican citizenship……Gamma calling Jawge racial slurs….Reggaefan cussing Boxhill……Lionpaw’s youtube video voyeurism of footballers starting to become worrisome……Yuttie posting as 5 different posters…..Me, Stephen Deroux and Nicholas Addlery completing their “Learn to Dance Jamaican Reggae” dvd.……Jamekan and his love of all things Trinidad…….Sensi exposing my football dunceness…..Plush exposing my lease dunceness…….Jawge labeling himself as a centaur….half man half donkey…..Shatta still talking about Garvey even though never having set foot in Africa……Karl still posting in another language…..X still calling for the JFF to wipe Onandi’s behind whenever he goes to the bathroom……Zeppo admitting that the Jamaican forward line is better than the US forward line…..Myyout posting only in patois……Pepsi smoking his blunt in the morning……Jangle still addicted to freeness…..Warlord racially abusing the Haitian football posters…..Bricktop radically abusing the gay people…..Tilla still on the sinking ship that is Chelsea……Baddaz yute making him proud in Colorado…..Harbour View winning the CFU again…..The return of Simoes……Bruce still one of the nicest people around……MdmeX and her $25 dollar tin of ackee…..Scaly renaming himself Juan Carlos Osorio……Assassin still wants all Jamaican footballers to play D6 English ball rather than play in the EPL…….Hortical moving to Kenya so that he can have sex with old white women……OJ driving himself crazy waiting for Canada to become a regional power in football…….Willi continues to be the local politics guru……Ricardo Fuller having a break out season…..Donovan Ricketts continues to be the BRICK WALL……….American track stars continue to use steroids……Mexx continues to act the fool with the Small Side……Balla being the squeaky wheel……tiefing NBA referees……cheating Patriots…….jamaican women’s football looking like an episode of Oz……Exile being arrested in New Kingston for solicitation……Farmah still trying to explain “vertical integration”……Lulu continues to have her heart broken……PrincessX and Portia disappear some suspect Pepsi…….Mike Nifong and Duke lacrosse…..OJ breaks into hotel room and holds up man at gun point……..Britney shaves her head……Barrack Obama……Nappy Headed Forumites……Rockman the ultimate Man I U fan……No Mercy living in an oxygen chamber so he can get revenge on Simoes…….T.K. continues to be the only voice of reason on the forum …..and now to what we’ve all been waiting for…….the nominees!

    Comedic Forumite of the Year Award 2007

    And the nominees are:

    1) Gamma for calling Jawge a monkey
    2) Bricktop for instigating Jawge as a monkey
    3) Pepsi for being Pepsi
    4) Jawge for being called a monkey

    And the winner is…………JAWGE for being called a monkey! How could Jawge not be the funniest poster of the year? With his all too hilarious way of reasoning and his posts being a source of laughter for the entire year it is clear why this forumite takes home the Comedic Forumite of the Year Award.

    Nicest Forumite of the Year Award 2007

    1) MdmeX for her kind way in dealing with people with ackee deficiencies
    2) Bruce for his kind way in which he has adopted Indy FC
    3) Karl for his kind way in how he deals with posters regardless the heat of the battle
    4) Tilla for his kind way in how he handled the naysayers from the old forum to the new

    And the winner is………….TILLA for his kind way in how he handled the naysayers from the old forum to the new! Yes the change in the 2nd half of 2006 was a difficult one for us all but through 2007 Tilla has continued to reach out to us skeptics helping us with everything from tech support to responding to the unreasonably harsh posts about the new forum with a respect and kindness that won even the most hardened anti-new forumites over. Tilla was the bridge that connected the old forum with the new. For that he is deserving of the Nicest Forumite of the Year Award 2007.

    Loyal Forumite of the Year Award 2007

    1) Maudib for his continuous campaigning for Bruce Golding
    2) X for his blind support of Onandi Lowe no matter the crime
    3) Jawge for his crying calls to leggo a Shady Pines Tappa
    4) Mosiah for shilling for Boxhill from one failure to the next

    And the winner is………….MOSIAH for shilling for Boxhill from one failure to the next! Who could forget all the memorable excuses manufactured by Mosiah for each and everyone of Boxhill’s screw ups? Through all the embarrassing twists and turns of the last 3 years Mo was always bigging up the vehicle inspector. He sacrificed his own reputation for the sake of Boxhill’s. From towel gate to directions gate Mo had his pom poms displayed proudly waving in the air for what turned out to be the worst JFF President in the history of football. It is for this reason why Mosiah is the winner of the Loyal Forumite of the Year Award 2007.

    Female Forumite of the Year Award 2007

    1) Lulu for keeping the faith in Scottish football and hearts
    2) MdmeX for not putting up with nonsense from criminals
    3) Pepsi
    4) PrincessX for her disappearing act

    And the winner is…………MDMEX for not putting up with nonsense from criminals! MdmeX has been the lone consistent female voice on the forum for 2007. Through thick and thin MdmeX is the Den Mother of the RBSC and without her the inmates would be running the prison. In addition to her blunt take on criminals she also is the resident expert on Track and Field regularly exposing the American track stars as steroids users and cheats. Not only that but if you are ever in the New York area and need a tin of ackee she deh pon de case. No pun intended of course. With a firm hand and a loving demeanor MdmeX is the Female Forumite of the Year for 2007.

    Mad, Sick, Head Nuh Good Forumite of the Year Award 2007

    1) Pepsi from coffee to love songs…blunts to thesaurus’
    2) Jawge for some of the most ridiculous line of logic ever seen
    3) Yuttie for having 5 split personalities
    4) Warlord for calling our Haitian brothers racial slurs

    And the winner is…………..if not PEPSI then who? Yes ladies and gentlemen….from singing Scaly and Bricktop love songs……to offering the women of the forum coffee…..using the = sign like no other….. threatening Karl to “gimme mi ******* money”………being afraid of using a thesaurus for fear of showing off…..gamma interrupting his blunt smoking in the morning……his love of Meg Ryan……his use of mathematics to figure out Jamaica’s ranking and chances of qualifying for the WC vs. other teams……from time to time switching to a sane person and making a few top notch posts in a row to the surprise of Jangle……forgetting to take his meds and switching back to a crazy person……drinking wine…….organizing a RBSC picnic in Montreal even though the Reggae Boyz match will be played in Toronto……claiming to be a catholic priest……claiming to be Irish…….After all of that we at the awards committee have to admit that Pepsi will always have a special place in the hearts and minds of the forumites. He makes life that much more fun and interesting. Pepsi yu large. Ladies and gentlemen your Mad, Sick, Head Nuh Good Forumite of the Year 2007 Pepsi.

    Best Forumite Prediction of the Year Award 2007

    1) ReggaeFan for predicting Boxhill will get the boot
    2) Shatta Cleve for predicting the rise of the African footballer
    3) Lazie for predicting Man U winning the EPL title
    4) HL for predicting a big U20 WC for Freddy Adu

    And the winner is……..LAZIE for predicting Manchester United winning the EPL title! Yes this host called Lazie crazy and a madman for thinking that Man U would have any chance of being the best in England at year’s end. When all the pundits predicted a down year for the Empire Lazie told everybody to hol’ dem cornas and watch de ride. If not Man then who? You Lazie that’s who. Lazie….Best Forumite Prediction of the Year Award 2007.

    Worst Forumite Prediction of the Year Award 2007

    1) Jawge for Freddy will be exposed by Brazil at the U20 WC
    2) X for Fuller is not a goal scorer
    3) Sickko for telling the massive that Teafore would be making a “big” move
    4) HL the US women will win the WC

    And the winner is…………SICKKO for telling the massive that Teafore would be making a “big” move! Who could forget the build up? Who could forget the let down? Yes it was all due to Sickko’s pronouncement that Teafore was going to be making a big move blazing a path to a new league for Jamaican footballers to follow. Then to only be told to rhatid that the man was going to play in Angola. Sickko tried to spin like a top but the forumites could see through his smoke screen that he had sold us all a bill of goods and magic beans. From dreaming of the first Jamaican player to be playing in a league in Portugal, Spain, Greece, Turkey, Italy to being slapped in the face so cruelly by the reality that Teafore was going to Angola of all flipping places. Never has the air ever been so taken out of the forum as the day Sickko’s prediction fell through so tragically leaving us feeling empty inside. Truly the forumite who cried wolf……Sickko you earned the Worst Forumite Prediction of the Year Award for 2007.

    Most Cynical Forumite of the Year Award 2007

    1) Bricktop for his gay bashing, religion attacking and all around forumite bitch slapping
    2) Maudib for his attacks on mental acumen, people’s high school and black man time
    3) Gamma the king of the one liners and making people feel downright silly
    4) HL for posting with the sole objective of ticking off Mosiah

    And the winner is………………MAUDIB for his attacks on mental acumen, people’s high school and black man time! When it comes to cynicism Ben has no equal. If belittling is the game then Maudib is his name. Whether we agreed or disagreed with Maudib many times we’d find ourselves laughing at the way he cuts people down in his patented long threaded style of posting. He had his greatest personal victory when his dad Bruce Golding won election. From going to a good school to Scaly being inspired by Pele to start cane cutting Maudib is hands down the Most Cynical Forumite of the Year for 2007.

    Most Inspirational Forumite of the Year Award 2007

    1) Shatta for encouraging us to be proactive rather then feeling sorry for ourselves
    2) Bruce for his continued support of Indy City FC
    3) Lionpaw for giving us all an opportunity to see the Boyz on youtube
    4) Balla for his continued dedication to his good friend Courtney

    And the winner is……..BALLA! Ever since Courtney’s passing Balla has been vigilant in ensuring that his good friend’s memory lived on. With a lovely tribute on the forum and a wonderful plaque given to the family on behalf of the RBSC Balla’s loyalty is a shining example to us all. Even though he does not post as often as he once did his contributions the forum are treasured by all. Balla is the Most Inspirational Forumite of the Year 2007.

    Okay ladies and gentlemen…..this is what we have all been waiting for……the final award of the night…..this award is given to the most influential forumite for the year 2007……the forumite who the discussions seem to revolve around the most…..the forumite who has given us the most news worthy moments….

    RBSC Forumite of the Year Award 2007

    And the nominees are:

    1) Pepsi for his bipolarisms
    2) Mosiah for his boxhillisms
    3) Lazie for his Man Uisms
    4) Jawge for his Jawgeisms

    And the winner is…………

    Drum roll please………

    And the winner is………………..JAWGE! Yes forumites we have an upset! Edging out Pepsi by the slimmest of margins Jawge has been the forum engine in 2007. When Jawge says…..mek wi sit and reason…..you know reason will have no place in the conversation. Who could forget when Jawge asked Gamma why he called him a monkey? His love of Nanny P and trying to defend her performance at the debate as he blamed the school system for her performance was comical. His funny logic and penchant for making himself look flat out ridiculous at times is a forum favorite. Even if you agree with Jawge’s points the way he tries to make them is as bizarre as one of Pepsi’s drug induced rants. Who can forget his many disses of Kaka? Jawge’s love of browning and Ms. Jamaica pageants knew no equal. He cursed Dunga for playing defensive in Copa America then cheered him when Brazil won Copa America. How many times in the heat of a forum battle with his rival Gamma has Jawge promised an analysis to end all debates only to disappear from sight? His love of customer service and his pleas to the JLIJ to be nicer to their customers unfortunately never came to fruition but the idea to get a piece of the outsourcing IT pie is still alive and kicking. Jawge points out that for us to be a home to a one of the US’ call centers we would first have to drop patois from the school curriculum so the children can get jobs. This is the only way Jamaica can stop being the “poster child of a 3rd world nation”. Once we get out of being a 3rd world nation we can learn the science of ball from Brazil and Tappa. Jawge, The Eternal Learner, Man of the Caves, Monkey Man you have been, are and will always be one of the greatest forumites to ever grace the board…....you sir…….are the Forumite of the Year for 2007. There was none better.

    Massive so ends the RBSC Awards Night 2007. I hope you all enjoyed the show and we look forward to an even bigger and better 2008. Congratulations to our award winners. This is your host T.K. signing off. – T.K.
    No need to thank me forumites.

  • #2
    TK...well done sah...that takes a lot of talent and rastafari good memory!

    Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving; it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe. Thomas Paine

    Comment


    • #3
      Well done, even though mi disagree wid a few tings
      Winning means you're willing to go longer, work harder, and give more than anyone else - Vince Lombardi

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by T.K. View Post
        And the winner is………….MOSIAH for shilling for Boxhill from one failure to the next! Who could forget all the memorable excuses manufactured by Mosiah for each and everyone of Boxhill’s screw ups? Through all the embarrassing twists and turns of the last 3 years Mo was always bigging up the vehicle inspector. He sacrificed his own reputation for the sake of Boxhill’s. From towel gate to directions gate Mo had his pom poms displayed proudly waving in the air for what turned out to be the worst JFF President in the history of football. It is for this reason why Mosiah is the winner of the Loyal Forumite of the Year Award 2007.
        Sniffle. I am so happy! I never really expected this. And to win from this very distinguished bunch of Forumites... I would like to thank my mother who taught me the value of loyalty. And I would like to thank my rottweiler who has also stood by me no matter how hungry he may be. I delicate this award to him.

        What? My time is up? But I haven't even taken out my list as yet! A whe dem hear bout?


        BLACK LIVES MATTER

        Comment


        • #5
          like me manufacturing excuses for Boxhill, right?


          BLACK LIVES MATTER

          Comment


          • #6
            Brilliant !

            Just BRILLIANT !!! I can't stop laughing.

            Comment


            • #7
              that was simply brilliant... the show was particularly engaging and entertaining... cant see the network using another host for this award show...
              'to get what we've never had, we MUST do what we've never done'

              Comment


              • #8
                I await JB/Pepsi's response to this. The funny thing with Pepsi is that the man posts on the T&T forum under the handle "Leroy"....the scary thing is that his posts there are very insightful...but when he posts here under Pepsi, its a totally fifferent kettle of fish.
                President of the FACCAC - Fans Againts Clueless Crenston and Cronies (cronies include Mosiah and Sicko)

                Comment


                • #9
                  T.K. that was MASSIVE !!! Another brilliant piece!

                  Suh, Jawge is di runaway winnah!
                  "The contribution of forumites and others who visit shouldn’t be discounted, and offending people shouldn’t be the first thing on our minds. Most of us are educated and can do better." Mi bredrin Sass Jan. 29,2011

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Brilliant !

                    Laugh till mi belly hot !

                    Yuh talented nuh b1tch.

                    I nominate for post of the year.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      it's january 2......wait likkle fuss nuh?

                      Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving; it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe. Thomas Paine

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        It nuh qualify. awards shows can't win. conflict of interest. nepotism. something!


                        BLACK LIVES MATTER

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Twas truly an entertaining post T.K.
                          "Jamaica's future reflects its past, having attained only one per cent annual growth over 30 years whilst neighbours have grown at five per cent." (Article)

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Gamma View Post
                            TK...well done sah...that takes a lot of talent and rastafari good memory!
                            LOL....thanks G....all in good fun...... - T.K.
                            No need to thank me forumites.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Hortical View Post
                              Well done, even though mi disagree wid a few tings
                              So is lie mi telling on yu Hortical?

                              Thank you sir! - T.K.
                              No need to thank me forumites.

                              Comment

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