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Joke! Received in my e-mail - The Usian Bolt effect!
This is a good one, enjoy.
It has been reported that there
has been a terrible outbreak of Yellow Fever (disambiguation). This particular
strain is sometimes known as the American Plague. The outbreak started in
Beijing, the Bird's Nest Olympic stadium to be exact, however sources have
linked its origin to the tiny island of Jamaica in the Caribbean
Sea.
The virus seems to have been transmitted by a set of
Jamaican athletes participating in the Beijing Olympics in particular one by the
name of Usain Bolt. At first the virus infected 91,000 people a few days ago but
it is a quickly spread to millions of persons worldwide. The symptoms
include:
·
Spontaneous & uncontrollable
dancing fits especially Nuh Linga & Gully Creeper
·
The need
to wear yellow clothing & wave Jamaican flags
·
Screaming
uncontrollably at your TV
·
Shock, awe
& speechlessness
Many
victims have become crazed and can be seen running on the streets all over
Jamaica acting like they have just won a 100m race at the Olympics in 9.69
seconds.
Although most victims suffer from these symptoms it does
seem to have different effects on some persons in particular Americans, these
include:
·
Badmind
·
Grudgefulness
·
Envy
·
A general
uncontrollable hating of all things Jamaican
Additionally, American victims seem to be unable to
grasp many things such as batons and the fact that people can actually run fast
without performance enhancing drugs.
So far scientists have been unable to find a cure and it
is feared that the entire world will be infected in a matter of days. The long
term prognosis is not good either, as it is feared that there is another
generation of Jamaican athletes that have this deadly virus in their system and
will be unleashing it on the world in even more record doses.
The only hope anybody has, to remain immune, is to stop
watching television (except for NBC), stay off the internet and move as far away
from civilized, rational humans as they can, in some remote underdeveloped,
mentally retarded place such as the USA.
It has been reported that there
has been a terrible outbreak of Yellow Fever (disambiguation). This particular
strain is sometimes known as the American Plague. The outbreak started in
Beijing, the Bird's Nest Olympic stadium to be exact, however sources have
linked its origin to the tiny island of Jamaica in the Caribbean
Sea.
The virus seems to have been transmitted by a set of
Jamaican athletes participating in the Beijing Olympics in particular one by the
name of Usain Bolt. At first the virus infected 91,000 people a few days ago but
it is a quickly spread to millions of persons worldwide. The symptoms
include:
·
Spontaneous & uncontrollable
dancing fits especially Nuh Linga & Gully Creeper
·
The need
to wear yellow clothing & wave Jamaican flags
·
Screaming
uncontrollably at your TV
·
Shock, awe
& speechlessness
Many
victims have become crazed and can be seen running on the streets all over
Jamaica acting like they have just won a 100m race at the Olympics in 9.69
seconds.
Although most victims suffer from these symptoms it does
seem to have different effects on some persons in particular Americans, these
include:
·
Badmind
·
Grudgefulness
·
Envy
·
A general
uncontrollable hating of all things Jamaican
Additionally, American victims seem to be unable to
grasp many things such as batons and the fact that people can actually run fast
without performance enhancing drugs.
So far scientists have been unable to find a cure and it
is feared that the entire world will be infected in a matter of days. The long
term prognosis is not good either, as it is feared that there is another
generation of Jamaican athletes that have this deadly virus in their system and
will be unleashing it on the world in even more record doses.
The only hope anybody has, to remain immune, is to stop
watching television (except for NBC), stay off the internet and move as far away
from civilized, rational humans as they can, in some remote underdeveloped,
mentally retarded place such as the USA.
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